As a little girl, I aspired to be the top surgeon-astronaut-lawyer-supermodel when I grew up. I was f
oolish dont put yourself down - "idealistic"
and dreamt big. Yet to this day, I still set my goals high and continue to strive towards them. Your shift between tenses is a bit awkward here. Maybe take out the previous sentence or introduce this one differently.
But my first priority was to focus on one career at a time. My desire to work in one of the most advanced and progressive fields sparked my passion for medicine. With first hand experience, of a family member whose life threatening condition was cured with the help of miraculous medicine, intensified my dedication. I would be anecdotal, and elaborate on this and then give more detail about how it affected you.
From there, I yearned for a career in pharmacy. I could not find anything more satisfying than dispensing potentially life saving medication to the sick and ailing. At that moment At what momment? There is no "momment" specified in your essay...
, I realized I was destined to become a pharmacist.
Only in my wildest dreams could I imagine myself graduating from Pharmacy College; but as my own high school graduation looms nearer, I am one step closer to living m
Being able to obtain Attaining
my Pharm.D. degree has become my long-term goal.
In order to accomplish this goal, I have set many short-term goals to prepare myself to endure hardships and overcome challenges What hardships and challenges??
. The first goal that takes top priority is to maintain my path to be valedictorian. Besides earning straight A's, I wanted to prepare myself for college by taking advanced and college courses throughout high school. Even though it is stressful at times, I have learned the meaning of diligence and perseverance.
Another goal I wish to fulfill is to be accepted into OSU's ( I didn't abbreviate this on the essay) College of Pharmacy Early Admissions Program. By surpassing the requirements for minimum grade point average and SAT score, I am eligible to apply. Being eligible is just one of the obstacles I need to conquer for entrance into this rigorous program. My essays and academic record will carry me through the rest of the hurdles.
All my academic short term goals stem from my dream to become a pharmacist. Although the path I set is demanding, I believe nothing can obstruct me from pursuing my dream.I think your essay would be more convincing if you elaborated on your inspiration.
Would you mind looking over mine?