Discuss a leadership experience you have had in any area of your life: school, work, athletics, family, church, community, etc. How and why did you become a leader in this area? How did this experience influence your goals?
I need help with this essay, I would like to know if i answered the prompt and if there are any errors or anything that could be changed.
One of my proudest accomplishments was being named captain of the football team. This was my second consecutive year as captain, but this year it meant more to me because it was my senior year. To some this isn't an accomplishment, but to me it meant everything. I obviously wasn't just picked at random at to be a captain, I was selected by the coaching staff and my fellow team mates and I was truly honored to be named a captain. It has taught me many things that I will use later in my life especially in order to reach my life long goals.
It was essential that I demonstrated leadership skills as a captain. I had to learn how to be friendly but also assertive with everyone. There were situations in which I had to tell friends to stop messing around and take things seriously and also take charge. I had to learn that everyone will not like me and the way I handle certain situations. I quickly learned not to try and be friends with everyone,but to focus on earning their respect which was essential.
I was chosen as a team captain because the coaching staff felt that I demonstrated all of the qualities of a captain. To be a team captain you have to demonstrate leadership, responsibility, and good character. The coaches felt that I was a well rounded student-athlete both on and off the field, so I was chosen. As a team captain it was my responsibility to make sure the team was on time, on the field stretched and read to practice. Member of the football team looked up to me to set a good example, and that's exactly what I did.
Being a varsity football captain taught me many skills that I can continue to use throughout the rest of my life. It allowed me to prove not only to myself, but also my coaches, team mates, and our fans every Friday night that I could be a leader. Without this position I would have never found the inner voice I now possess that allows me to encourage my team through our ups and downs. I learned that no one person is greater than the team. As a leader I realized that everyone is important if my team wants to accomplish our goal of winning every Friday night. My goal in life is to one day open my own investment firm. The experience I gained as a football captain further influenced my desire to accomplish this goal. I believe that the leadership skills that I have acquired have equipped me for the large responsibilities ahead of me in the future.
"I obviously wasn't just picked at random at to be a captain, I was selected by the coaching staff and my fellow team mates and I was truly honored to be named a captain." You should elaborate this point. Discuss the hardships and mental or physical pains you've felt before being captain. Allow the reader to connect to you and feel the pain you've endured before becoming captain.
"My goal in life is to one day open my own investment firm." This sentence came out of nowhere in the last paragraph. The prompt states how did the experience influence your goals and since this is a huge question within the prompt I think you should definitely elaborate on this point. Maybe make this sentence a separate paragraph.
Also, you should talk about how you did not let yourself or your school down. You embraced the position and knew the responsibilities that came with the position.
You should use more transitions.
"I was chosen as a team captain because the coaching staff felt that I demonstrated all of the qualities of a captain. To be a team captain you have to demonstrate leadership, responsibility, and good character. The coaches felt that I was a well rounded student-athlete both on and off the field, so I was chosen. As a team captain it was my responsibility to make sure the team was on time, on the field stretched and read to practice. Member of the football team looked up to me to set a good example, and that's exactly what I did." You can get rid of this paragraph because the prompt does not ask how but how it shaped you to be a leader with leadership abilities that will help you with your future career. Talk about aspirations and make it relatable to being captain of the football team.
