My financial need makes my academic aspirations a lofty one- scholarship essay

The prompt goes thus: Please use this space to write a clear and short letter of support (of no more than 400 words) for your application for this scholarship. In particular, state your reasons for taking this course, financial need and intentions upon returning to your country. Continue on a separate sheet if necessary.

The promise of a distinguished international experience replete with academic activities, high quality course work and research are the factors which have motivated me to choose studying my interest- Environmental Biotechnology- at the XXX. This return to academic study was borne out of my zeal to extend my professional development and also learn how to solve some of the numerous environmental problems facing XXX from Agricultural activities through Biotechnology.

With XXX's Cassava production at over 39 million metric tons annually, achieving the Millennium Development Goal 7A on Environmental Sustainability extends to the proper management of its processing wastes which are hazardous and currently discharged freely into the environment. The management of these wastes will form the bulk of my work when I return to XXX on the completion of my studies. I plan to utilise the knowledge gained from my studies in developing a low cost biotechnology process which can be adapted by small scale industries and farmers in XXX to convert cassava peels and effluents (wastes) into bio`-fertilizers rather than discharging them indiscriminately into the environment. I will also participate in advising business, Government and agricultural agencies on environmental management issues, especially in the areas of waste management, sustainable energy & environmental policies; helping them strike a balance between the reality of human needs and the consequences of environmental degradation.

I believe that studying at the XXX will help me develop a global perspective through my interaction with diverse professional and cultural backgrounds. The rigourous academic study schedule and hands on practical experience will also ensure that I gain the best possible knowledge in Biotechnology and its applications in the real world while building a solid foundation for research.The new contacts I will make, especially with renowned professors and researchers, are connections I can explore on my return to Nigeria for further reseach and collaborations to develop other innovative bio-products.

While the large extent of my financial need makes these aspirations a lofty one; it would be a dream come true to secure a XXX Scholarship (or a similar level of funding) without which, I will not be able to pursue this study. I am confident that I will meet the demands of the course curriculum and do the University proud through my work when I return to XXX.

Have I addressed the prompt and how I meet the criteria? All comments, suggestions are welcome. Deadline looms, Please Help!!

WOW!!! I have to say this is one of the best essays I have EVER had the privilege to examine. You have demonstrated your purpose, your passion and determination so articulately. Your knowledge and drive regarding your course of study and aspirations are so abundantly clear. In fact, this is so well written that I couldn't even find one grammatical error-nevermind structure revisions...and that's my job!!! :) Just a suggestion, you could elaborate just a little more on the financial aspect if you so decide but honestly, everything else you said, in my opinion should ABSOLUTELY be worthy of the scholarship you are applying for. I don't know if this has been helpful because I didn't really change a thing. My feedback is that you have bordered on perfection with this writing. :) Best of luck to you!

Thank you so much Susan for your review!
Do you have any specific words/examples on how I can elaborate on the financial aspect? I can hardly think of anything else. Thank you so much.

Regards