That first paragraph is uneventful. SO many people have single parent households. You need a new concept to add a new dimension to the essay. If you want to have great success despite adversity, you have to get passionate about a plan for the future.
That is the way to write a great essay. (However, it might drive you crazy. It is good to relax into your life situation, but when you write an essay like this show that you have a plan with several short term goals.) :-)
dreams ripped away from me.
What dreams? I want to know about the details of the dream. If you tell the reader how this scholarship will affect the way you achieve your goals, the reader will want to view you favorably.