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I chose Medical Technology; Title for a scholarship essay about me


jenny1515 2 / 6  
Aug 17, 2013   #1
Hi guys! I was just wondering if you could give me a suggestion on what title my scholarship essay should be?
And what should I add to make the essay more meaningful?

I am required to answer the following questions to fulfill the essay.
1. Why did you take Medical technology?
2. What does it take to be an effective leader?Cite an instance when you were able to demonstrate your leadership
3. How do you relate to others?
4. What have been your involvement in community activities? What was your role and what was the result?

Here is the essay that I had made..

"I chose Medical Technology because it has a wide range of knowledgeable aspect in the field of medicine. Another reason is that I am sure that this course will help me develop numerous skills that I can use in the present and future. I also believe that it offers most of the opportunities that involves knowledge and skills in pursuing my future in the broad range of occupational areas that are available and especially, I chose this course because I know that through this I can contribute to the improvement of somebody's health or quality of life.

For me, an effective leader must also be a good listener. When I was in high school, I was asked to direct the whole class to perform a whole play of El Filibusterismo. Before we started the practice, I gathered them in a group and I asked for their suggestions and opinions, and if everyone agrees then I put what my classmates suggested into action. I listened to all of their opinions and suggestions because our intentions are all the same and it is to improve the performance of the play and finally, within months of preparation we managed to perform the play successfully. It was so rewarding to see that the fruit of my leadership became successful with the help of others.

I relate to others through setting aside once differences. I've learned through experience that setting aside other peoples difference can help you improve your relationship with one another.

One of my involvements in the community is when we taught the out of the school youths in a barangay in our subject NSTP. At that time, I was able to teach little children the alphabet and counting. Even though it is very hard to teach those kids because of the limited space and time that our professors have given to us, the result made me so happy and contented because the smiles that those poor children gave me whenever they learned something new became a reward for me."
ygcantu0496 2 / 10 1  
Aug 18, 2013   #2
One thing my AP English teacher always tells us is to never answer the question right away; maybe work it into the first sentence but DON'T answer it at the very beginning.
OP jenny1515 2 / 6  
Aug 18, 2013   #3
ygcantu0496
thank you. But what do you think is the appropiate title?
ygcantu0496 2 / 10 1  
Aug 18, 2013   #4
If you're experienced go with something like "My Journey in ___" but a little less cheesy than that. Or like "The step yet to take onto my professional life"
OP jenny1515 2 / 6  
Aug 18, 2013   #5
Thanks a lot. What do you think should I add more to my essay?
ygcantu0496 2 / 10 1  
Aug 18, 2013   #6
El Filibusterismo.

Tells us what it is, it may confuse some readers.
Umm, say how long you've been interested in the course and more personal anecdotes adds up to make it more personal.
OP jenny1515 2 / 6  
Aug 18, 2013   #7
El Filibusterismo is a novel written my Jose Rizal, Our national hero n the Philippines, which depicts the colonization of the Spaniards.

Can you give me an example of a personal anecdote?
Kyper - / 1  
Aug 27, 2013   #8
We're both applying for same scholarship :D are you done with all the requirements? like copy of NSAT scores? I dunno where to get my NSAT scores.


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