I've written my personal statement and I'm pretty happy with it. The only problem is that it is too long: it is supposed to be maximum 750 words, but mine is 862... Any ideas what I could do to shorten it down??
If somebody had looked at a photo of my family, they would probably think that we are perfectly normal. That is as far from the truth as possible. Take my mother; she moved to Norway all the way from Kazakhstan. She met my father at a Service Civil International Camp in Kazakhstan where they worked as volunteers. She is one of the smartest people I know, academically speaking, but most importantly, she has always told me to follow my heart and speak up for what I want.
My younger sister on the other hand is a completely different character. At a young age, she was diagnosed with Asperger's Syndrome. That mainly means she has difficulties empathizing and opening up to other people. With me, she has never had problems with either, and I have gotten to know an amazing human being. Lately, I've been spending more and more time with her, and I've realised how much older and mature she has gotten although she is only 13. It is not only me helping her, but us helping each other. She has taught me to stay true to myself and always look for the good in people and help them embrace that.
On a weekly basis, many things occupy me, but the one thing that I look most forward to, is to go to dance class. Even though I've only danced for a year, I've never done anything physical that I liked that much. When I took my first class, I wasn't that excited. Dancing was something that I never had been good at, and I felt stupid the first times I tried. After a few more times, I noticed that my coordination and flexibility had improved and that I was doing the moves better. I started to get excited about every practice. The highlight was when my friends and I performed a 10-minute mash up of dances and songs at my 10th grade graduation in front of all the students and parents. This whole experience taught me that you might not be the best at something you've never tried before, but if you give it an effort and some time, you can succeed in everything you do, and maybe end up loving it?
I decided to be a part of the election last year. I found a party that represented close to all my political opinions, the Labour Party. The Labour Party's biggest focus is, as the name says, the workers. Together with me, they believe that work provides safety, community and opportunities, and therefor want to create more jobs. But to me, the most important case they fight for is to increase the financial aid provided to countries in need. Their program focuses on providing vaccinations to every child and to give women a better offer to an education. They also want to help developing countries engage in trading and establish a sufficient economy.
When it was time for me to select high school, this affected me tremendously. My desire to make a change and to challenge myself was the reason I chose to be a part of the International Class at Nesbru. The international Class have the same curriculum as a regular class where we get education of almost all subjects in English. We learn about the international society, the conflicts and the solving of them. We have an own subject about this called Meet the World.
To meet the world is exactly what I want to do, and what better way to do this than to attend a UWC college.
Some people think that schools are merely turning children into good citizens and workers, rather than benefiting them as in individuals. I believe UWC does both. They provide an excellent academic program and some of the best teachers in the world, but also teach the importance with challenging your mind beyond the textbooks. In addition, the international environment in every school give the unique opportunity to get to know people with a very different background and opinions. All of this lead me to believe that UWC will give me the best education possible, and that any person that attend it will come out with not only great academic knowledge, but also great knowledge about themselves.
There is only so much you can do with these amazing resources if you do not have anything to contribute with. That is not the case with me. Because of my background with an international family and my year in an international class, I believe I will fit right into the environment at an UWC-school. I also love to get to know new people, especially the ones with a different story and background than my own. I have a deep desire to help others, both the ones close to me, and the ones in corners of the world far away from me. Something that I've always wanted to do, is to engage others in something I love, which is dance. Dance is the same, no matter what culture or background you have and can be fun for anyone. Together with the other students, I want to work for a world with peace and justice.
Ok, you need some help with cutting down your word count :)
If somebody had looked at a photo of my family, they would probably think that we are perfectly normal.
For outsiders, my family looks perfectly normal.That is as far from the truth as possible.
However, it's far from the truth.Take my mother; she moved to Norway all the way from Kazakhstan. She met my father at a Service Civil International Camp in Kazakhstan where they worked as volunteers. She is one of the smartest people I know, academically speaking, but most importantly, she has always told me to follow my heart and speak up for what I want.
My mother is a smart woman who migrated to Norway from Kazakhstan. She always inspired me to follow my heart and speak up for what I believe in.I didn't include your father's part because I feel you can do away with that. It does not deliver a particular idea to enrich your essay.
