Discuss the subjects in which you excel or have excelled. To what factors do you attribute your success? Use specific examples to illustrate how you succeeded.
Success with science has lead to my success in math as well. The basic foundations and fundamentals of math and science go hand in hand. They are so closely related that to fully understand one subject, I must further my knowledge in the other as well.
Ultimately, math became my second passion. Functions, formulas, and fractions all made sense to me. In my head, I could work simple math problems and apply the concepts into reality. Math became something more than numbers and symbols to me. It is the basis that brings about economic research and gravity defying sky scrapers. In big ways and small, math has a role in everyone's life.
Everyone called me crazy to take AP Calculus, but I knew better. I had already completed all the lower math courses and my only options left were AP Statistics, AP Calculus or no math at all. The third option never existed in my mind, so I had to make a decision. Statistics was comparably less rigorous and less complex so technically it would've been an "easier way out". But I hadn't taken the easy road before, so why start now? Without a doubt, Calculus is hard. It is time consuming, one small error messes everything up, and there are a million rules to live by. Yet I love it.
Striving to push myself beyond my limits is how I've learned to excel in school. Math and science are just the top two courses in which my interest lays a foundation for my excellence. With my strong work ethic and determination, I am driven to pursue my passions through thick and thin.
****My conclusion is lacking but I'm not sure what to add. Any help (not just on the conclusion alone) is greatly appreciated!! Thank you so much!
Nice response! Some food for thought though, the institution might like to see how you overcame an obstacle in math or science, and that's how you were able to continue excelling. Schools like obstacle hoppers. Also, maybe just try to add in what science class(es) you are taking, to show them you are on a high level there too.
Hope that helped!
Thank you so much for the help! I really appreciate your advice and will definately try to incorporate the ideas into my essay.
I like the thought you express in the first paragraph, but you use too many words to express it.
Mathematics and science are so closely related that to fully understand one subject, I must further my knowledge in the other as well.--- I think this would be a great first sentence for the essay. It expresses everything in the first paragraph.
Oh, I see that each paragraph is about something different. You should ask yourself, "What is the most important message of this essay?" If you know the most important message, put it at the end of paragraph one.
I think you should start this essay with the sentence above, and end the first para with an answer to the question above. In the first para, you can also mention that you have a natural ability for mathematics and a fascination with science because of ________.
Make sure that you remember, especially while working with the first and last paragraph, what the main purpose is, the most important message of the essay.
:-)
