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leadership, creativity and social responsibility- to obtain BSC degree in engineering


salma 1 / 3  
Mar 25, 2011   #1
I am supposed to submit a two page project (essay) for scholarship application which says: demonstrate your skills in leadership, creativity and social responsibility. The structure of the project description should include, introduction, problem statement, methodology,results and conclusion.

"Reach high in the sky and if i should happen to miss, I'd still be among the stars!" My name is salma siddiqua and i live in makkah. This is what i used to tell myself everyday for 10 years on my journey to school,75 km away in Jeddah. This strong willpower to propel myself to the stars and back and never let anything slow me down has fueled me to go on.

I was born in Bangladesh and from the day i was born I've never accepted failure.My parents would tell me when i was younger and didn't know how to make a paper aeroplane,I'd sit for hours trying and asking mom why i couldn't do it while everyone else could.As i took each step towards high school, my inquisitive mind burned with reverent curiosity at how things worked around me. I had dreams of changing the world. Granted, those dreams were only the dreams of a child but they've lasted many many years.

High school helped me to refine my passion for the world of science with my particular interest about electrical engineering and communication. Electronic communication has changed our lives in a period of less then several decades. I'm determined to take part in this changing!

Even as a child, i was a natural leader and my friends would automatically turn to me when it comes to decision making. From sorting out everyone during our catching catch sessions to later organizing school plays, INTERNATIONAL MOTHER LANGUAGE DAY, annual picnic has helped me express my ideas and in turn enhance my level of confidence. In fact, my teachers would always pick me up to be the host speaker at any special event held in school.Their wholehearted trust and sheer belief in me that i can excel beyond just academic success, led me to work vigorously and step on my first ladder of success when I's elected as a Deputy Head Girl of BISJ at college. Armed with leadership, dedication and responsibility, i had to face even greater challenges.

Besides involvement in academics and leadership position, i have never failed to miss a thrill out of my extracurriculars which involved participating in plays,debates,group songs, decorating stages for functions etc. Speaking of accomplishments, I's nominated as the winner at Liter Olympics, third position at science exhibition, and won a trophy for being the fastest runner! In fact, my enthusiasm for sports won me a Basketball championship(Girls) at college. Above all things, this sport has given me the love of life as throughout i experienced pain,sacrifice,adversity,success and most importantly team spirituality!

Finally as foreigner living abroad, i have been bridging cultures throughout my life. This experience has taught me to look for differences to compromise and similarities to sympathize in order to balance different cultures. Moreover, coming from a six person household and being the first child, I's taught never to take life for granted as things have always been tight for my family.its not that we have ever done without the essentials, its just that we font have some of the luxuries that other people take for granted. As such it has not been possible for me to fully rely on my parents for my education. Despite this, I'm willing to take any hardships i fit means acquiring education that will last a lifetime.

What this scholarship would mean to me? it would mean i could access the gateway of knowledge and the success in the horizon. To education also means freedom and without a degree i'll never be truly free.This scholarship would not only mean the world to me but to my family as well.

Though at BISJ, I feel I've acquired the values and the burning desire to benefit others in this journey of life, i do not yet have the sophistication,knowledge and wisdom to behold what the future hold in store for me. I believe that EFFAT UNIVERSITY of jeddah, above all others can guide me towards the life of greatness and I'll make the scholarship committee proud by taking me into their alumni.

#i'm not sure about the conclusion. please help me! my deadline is tomorrow!any help and feed back is greatly helpful!
#also, i need a catchy title for my essay!! please suggest one!
OP salma 1 / 3  
Mar 26, 2011   #2
HELLO!! IS THERE ANYONE WHO'D HELP ME HERE AND MAKE SURE THIS IS PRESENTABLE...OR IF I WENT WRONG WITH MY INTRODUCTION OR CONCLUSION?!!

I've finished my a-levels and have been trying to look for scholarships for a long time..and this is my only hope..and desperately need help!

should i include more about my qualifications?? and aims?? or is this fine?? please let me know!
EF_Kevin 8 / 13,321 129  
Mar 28, 2011   #3
Hi Salma, you are supposed to drive traffic to your thread by helping other essayists. You obviously write very well, so you could help a lot of people.

Capitalize your name and the name of Makkah.

If you use "many" twice in a row for emphasis, use a comma: many, many...

I don't really like the paper airplane example. Everyone can come up with some childhood story like that. I think you should forget about childhood and concentrate on explaining what you are currently reading, researching online, and discussing with your peers. What subjects and specializations interest you right now? Show the reader that you have well-defined interests and a clear plan for the next few years. That'll make them want to award you the scholarship.

Use a hyphen:
six-person household

What this scholarship would mean to me? it would mean i could access the gateway of knowledge and the success in the horizon. To education also means freedom and without a degree i'll never be truly free.This scholarship would not only mean the world to me but to my family as well.

This does not really say anything. You have to explain what will happen if you get it and what will happen if you don't. Be honest. Maybe getting it will just alleviate some financial burden, but the outcome would be the same; if that is the case, concentrate on sharing with them the seriousness of your plan to show that you deserve the scholarship. It's all about having a well-conceived plan with several short term goals.

:-) you have to think of the title yourself! That is a personal thing. Can you think of a single word that perfectly captures the meaning of the essay?
OP salma 1 / 3  
Mar 29, 2011   #4
Thank you so much for directing me!!! you just saved my life! this is my first scholarship essay writing experience and i was lost as to how to proceed with it! now, i'll keep on trying until i'm happy with my work!

I'm applying for this scholarship competition at the uni, and i need to submit this essay along with a scholarship form....so do i need to introduce myself in the essay??

well i modified some parts of my essay.only the 1st 3 paragraphs...please let me know if this is better!

"Reach for the sky and if i should happen to miss i'd still be among the stars" I'd say this to myself from the day i started kindergarten when i was on my daily journey to school 75km away in Jeddah. Stepping into the unknown, I, however, possessed the willpower to take myself to the stars and back and never let anything slow me down along the way!

Now, as my high school career draws to a close and i've begun the application process, I foresee myself to be a professional Electric and computer engineer with a passion in researching the next generation computer networks. I'd follow up my career by pursuing a a Masters degree in electronic communication which would be enriching and rewarding both in the academic arena and for my personal interest to acquire more knowledge about the current trend of development. In fact, high school has helped to refine my passion in this field when I flourished through maths and physics. Participating in science exhibitions and endless science projects also heightened my interest to embark on this ever-changing high tech modern world and strive toward my goal.

I love volunteering and traveling. Holding the belief of "Each life is the inspiration of another life" i enjoy serving the needy with love and care while i treasure the exchange of ideas among people with diversified background. Besides volunteering, ever since i can remember, i was known as the best storyteller among my friends as i could leave my audience spellbound with vivid details! My talent in masterful storytelling and powerful imagination reflected in my work when i began to direct school plays, take part in spectrum of school events and becoming the th head volunteer at annual picnics, all the while unaware that i was actually playing the starring role of a leader!

In fact my teachers would always select me to be a representative host speaker at any functions! Their absolute trust and belief in me that i could excel beyond just academic success, enlightened me to work vigorously and step on my first ladder of success when i was elected as the Deputy Head Girl of BISJ at college. Armed with leadership skills, dedication and responsibility, i had to face even greater challenges in meeting expectations of teachers, staffs and entire student body!

# does this ans the topic of leadership qualities asked for??
thank you again!!! you've been an invaluable help!! i finished my high school and intermediate level under british curriculum last year...but now i'm forced to take a gap year due to financial problem...

i'd surely help and try my best helping other writers!!
EF_Kevin 8 / 13,321 129  
Apr 1, 2011   #5
do i need to introduce myself in the essay??

I don't think you really do need to introduce yourself. They already know your name, so the thing to do is introduce your idea.

What is the idea that inspires you? What do you want to do? That is the stuff that really motivates the reader.

"Reach for the sky and if i should happen to miss i'd I'll still be among the stars." I have said this to myself since the day I started kindergarten when I was on my daily journey to school, 75km away in Jeddah.

Stepping into the unknown, I however possessed the willpower to take ...

myself to the stars and back and never let anything slow me down along the way! (Right here, add a sentence that tells your academic goal. That way, the reader will see that academic goal as a way of "reaching the stars."

... foresee myself being ...

I love volunteering and traveling.------Change this sentence to say something about how volunteering and traveling are related to your big idea, your big goal.

Below, I'll add a comma and capitalize the "I"
Holding the belief of "Each life is the inspiration of another life," I enjoy ...

...could leave my audience spellbound with vivid details! ----I am not surprised. You have a great communication style.

:-)


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