HISTORY; Gates Millennium- subjects in which you excel or have excelled

Essay #1
Discuss the subjects in which you excel or have excelled. To what factors do you attribute your success?

Can someone check for any errors, and see if i answer the prompt.

There are many subjects you study while in school, everything from geometry to anatomy. I myself excel in history subjects. My love for history started sadly when I discovered the tragedies that happened on September, 11 2001. My family and I came to the United States from Nigeria in 2002, a year after 9/11. While the images of the horrific sense of that day were still fresh in the minds of many people, my family and I were oblivious to the events that occurred that day. It wasn't until the sixth grade that my history teacher explained to me what happened on 9/11, and since that day I've had an overwhelming quest for knowledge and learning about history. Some people see history as boring, but to me I found it fascinating to learn about the past and those who have come before us. This passion led me to take classes such as Advanced Placement United States History my junior year - which I loved - to further enhance my already vast knowledge of history. History has always been my best and favorite subject in school. I found it much more interesting then math which bored me to tears. I have always had a great memory for remembering names, events, wars, and more. Our ancestors struggled and sacrificed for us we owe it to them to understand who they were and what they dealt with in their life. I like history because I enjoy reading about the drama of major political, social and military changes, and the dramatic transformations that major wars, revolutions and political movements and campaigns bring about. Modern history interests me most of all because it is most easy to relate to how the drama of history has created the world we live in now. Whether it's American, European or Native American I love all types of history. As stated by George Santayana; "those who don't learn from history are doomed to repeat it." When we learn from our mistakes, as history among other things often repeats itself, then our futures will be shaped. So by looking back, we're molding our lives, our hopes, dreams. History even though it's in the past still gives us insight into the future and thinks to come.

To my success in history subjects, I owe that to my teachers that have encouraged my love of history. There are not many teachers that can recognize a child's passion and encourage then to purse it further. Every single one of my history teachers especially my advance placement U.S History teacher Mrs. Thurkow realized that my interest in history was different from the average student. I owe it to those teachers who saw my passion and gave me the materials to further pursue it.

Okay,

First and foremost, great job answering the prompt!

There is only one thing that is kind of bugging me. You expanded the name of the AP class.. I would just leave it as AP U.S History only because it seems a bit redundant the other way around. Good luck!

Thank you for the comment, i'll make sure to look through it again and make the necessary changes.

Your interest is current right? "I found find it "


Try putting "since" in the beginning of the sentence and a comma after "us" for more flow.
"life" should be "lives"


Use easiest instead of "most easy" since you already used the word most earlier in the sentence.
This is just an opinion but: you can try using a synonym of "drama" since you used the world in the previous sentence.


Did you mean things?


Your teachers are people so it should be, teachers WHO
Also omit "that" in the first sentence after "owe"
In the second sentence, I believe you meant "them" instead of "then"

Overall, I think you communicated and showed your passion of history well :)