Help with Essay on a substantial commitment made, challenges faced and the outcome.

Hi,
Please find below the essay I have written for a scholarship. Please proof read it for me and let me know if I have to make any corrections based on grammar, language and punctuation. The essay has to be at least 450 words. This is urgent. Please help.

During the time that I worked as a Senior Process Associate in Indirect Procurement between 2010 -11, I met several people who had great knowledge when it came to the subject matter that we were working on, but couldn't communicate well because their grasp on the English language was not good. Since they always worked under time constraints, the recruiters always looked for knowledge rather than great communication skills. The client we worked for demanded that all the employees be very fluent in written and verbal skills. Hence there were a lot of escalations against these people for their work. To reduce the amount of escalations, the team manager decided to employ a communications expert to help the team members.

The responsibilities of the communications expert were to help the employees improve their written and verbal skills as well as grade the employees based on their level of communication level. After appraising their language skills, the employees were divided into groups based on their performance and grades. Since the Communications expert had to concentrate all her efforts on the worst performers, the rest of the employees with better language skills had to lead a group of 10-12 members of low performers and help them in improving their skills.

Since I had a good score, I volunteered to lead one group. Our group consisted of a few of my seniors and my peers. The challenging part of leading your seniors, who have a lot more experience, not just in years but also are experts on the subject, is in correcting them in a way so as not to offend them. The group's contracts and e-mails had to be proof read and any conversation with the clients had to be monitored. Since most of our work included contractual work, extra care had to be taken so as not to distort the meaning which would mean an invalid contract and another escalation. Most of them had a problem with the language because of 'Mother Tongue Influence' (MTI as we called it). To get rid of MTI is not an easy task, but the members of our group were an enthusiastic bunch. Every day we held mock negotiation calls to help improve their fluency and confidence. They wrote essays and practiced reading from an English newspaper to help with their writing skills and pronunciation. Our spare time was all spent in helping them better themselves and the rest of the time when we worked on our contracts. The communications expert and I would have regular meetings on their progress. Tests and debates were conducted regularly, so that we could assess the progress the group members were making.

The group who were so cautious around each other initially did so well that all of them cleared the appraisal. A few of them still sent me e-mails and contracts to proof read and had me monitor their phone calls so that I could give them pointers to correct themselves. A few colleagues even sent me e-mails to proof read after I quit working. And in all this it just wasn't them who bettered themselves, I learnt a lot about contractual procedure and legalities from the group, which helped me provide better service to the clients I was responsible for.

but couldn't communicate well because their grasp on the English language was not good.they were pretty weak in English language.


Since these projects had major time constraints, the recruiters gave much less priority to great communication skills and placed a very high priority for technical knowledge and skills.


However, our clients demanded that all our employees should be very fluent in both speaking and writing skills in English language.

Thanks a lot Pahan...do you feel the rest of the essay is Ok for submission?

.... I think escalations is not the appropriate word here.... do you mean;
Hence there were many complaints over issues due to miscommunications, the client we worked with demanded that all our employees should be very fluent in English.


This made our team manager to employ a communication expert to assist team members to enhance their linguistic skills in English.


The challenge was to lead your seniors,