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How Will This Scholarship Help Me Attain My Career Goal essay.


answers: 1
Nov 25, 2008, 10:11pm   #
The requirements for this essay are one page, double-spaced and the title is How Will This Scholarship Help Me Attain My Career Goal.
Could some please provide some feedback ? I feel that the ending of the essay is kind of weak? This is my first post on this site:) Thanks in advance!

My goal is to attain a career where I can use my specialized information technology skills combined with strong business background to help organization implement information technologies to achieve their technology and business goals.
I am very passionate about information technology and how it can be successfully implemented and managed to help organizations become more efficient and effective. The information systems managers' position requires a strong understanding of both technical and business practices to excel. I am currently pursuing a MBA degree with concentration on Information Systems to acquire a broad range of essential business know ledges. I am also engaging in some self online learning courses outside the classroom and participating in couple of certificate programs to keep up with the cutting-edge information technology. Although I am very committed to undertaking professional trainings to fulfill my goals, the expensive cost of some online courses and certification programs had hold me back from taking them.
This scholarship will certainly strengthen my opportunity to take multiple Information Technology online courses and certification programs which I was not able to pay for due to my financial burden. The scholarship can help me further my professional training and certification goals that I have set for myself and will in turn help me start a true career in information system/technology management. This Scholarship can also be used to assist me pay for my courses this coming spring. Overall, this scholarship will help me accomplish my current goal, move on to the next and eventfully become a successful professional in the information system/technology management field.
I believe my education and experience fits nicely with the scholarship requirements, and I am certain that this scholarship will make a significant contribution to my continuing education.

Good evening :)

Mechanically, make sure you are only capitalizing proper nouns and the first words of sentences; for instance, "Scholarship" and "Information Systems" shouldn't be capitalized.

In regards to content, I think you have a very formal, appropriate piece here. You explain how it will help you, why it will help you get to your goal, and what you will do with this opportunity. A very nice piece; good work.

Regards,
Gloria
Moderator, EssayForum.com



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