Good academic record, service work makes me an ideal candidate to be considered for a scholarschip

The instructions weren't specific. They just asked applicants to upload a cover letter

XXX International Scholarship Program,
International Scholarship
Partnerships Department,
XXX Limited,
XXX.

Dear XXX,

APPLICATION FOR SCHOLARSHIP
I wish to express my interest in the XXX International Scholarship Program. I believe that my very good academic record, service work and extracurricular activities make me an ideal candidate to be considered for a scholarship. I have a Bachelor of Engineering (B.Eng.) in Chemical Engineering with Second Class upper honours and graduating Cumulative Grade Point Average (CGPA) of 4.209/5.0 obtained in 2014 from the University of Benin, Benin City, Edo State, Nigeria, and I am currently undergoing the mandatory one year national service to my country and it will end in July, 2015.

My academic achievement is demonstrated by the numerous awards and scholarships I received whilst in secondary school as well as the university. The achievements in secondary school include being awarded prizes for the overall best student, the best in Chemistry and the best in Electronics. In addition to graduating among the top 10 students in my department at the end of the academic year, I received various scholarship awards such as the Federal Government of Nigeria merit award, the Total E/P Nigeria Limited merit award and the Chevron/Agbami scholarship award.

My personal achievements and soft skills are evidenced in my involvement in a variety of extracurricular activities as well as holding positions of responsibilities which enhanced my communication, leadership and interpersonal skills. I was elected as the President of the Junior Engineers Technicians and Scientists (JETS) club of my secondary school, a departmental representative at the Students' Union of my university, and I am presently a member of the Road Safety Community Development Service group, where we sensitize road users on the importance of safety on our highways. I have also gained some valuable work experience ranging from being a class teacher to being a laboratory scientist. Additionally, I have worked as an Intern with the Fluid Catalytic Cracking Unit (FCCU) of the Warri Refining and Petrochemical Company Limited Warri, Delta State, Nigeria.

I am a self-motivated individual with a strong desire to excel in whatever I am involved in. Behind my achievements is also a strong desire to learn. I hope to further my education by studying for an M.Sc in XXX and XXX at the XXX School (xxx) XXX, before proceeding to doctoral level where I intend to carry out research in the general areas of petrochemicals and structure-property relationship for polymer materials.

Thank you in advance for considering my application.

Yours faithfully,

You want to format this letter in such a way that you do not repeat the contents of the documents you have submitted for their consideration. Instead of writing everything in paragraph form the way you have now, I suggest that you keep this essay down to 3 paragraphs. Using the first paragraph to introduce yourself as a candidate then the second paragraph will be in bullet form, highlighting your achievements and accomplishments (both academic and extra curricular) which you believe they should note in your application. Finally, the third paragraph will reiterate your interest in pursuing your academic studies with their help, explaining the reasons why you need the scholarship in order to fulfill your tuition needs. Reasons such as being a self-supporting student and the like should help your application.

i dont know how to go about the bullet points listing.
and since they also require i submit my CV, dont you think that listing in bullet points wont give me the ability to elaborate on my achievements since it would just keep it in compressed form as in the CV?

please could you help me highlight the repetitions in the write-up?

i tried to edit the last paragraph, stating a reason why i need the scholarship. is this okay?

I am a self-motivated individual with a strong desire to excel in whatever I am involved in, and behind my achievements also is a strong desire to learn. If given this scholarship, it will help me take care of the tuition and expenses required for the M.Sc in XXX and XXX program at the XXX School (xxx) XXX. Upon completion of my M.Sc, I would proceed to doctoral level where I intend to carry out research in the general areas of petrochemicals and structure-property relationship for polymeric materials.

Your CV is the intricate form of information that you should be providing to the scholarship committee. The compressed form will remind them to pay attention to the highlights of your CV or ask them to look deeper and consider your more important qualities as a scholarship candidate. So there is no redundancy in using bullet points in your letter. To use the bullet points you can say something like the following:

As a student, some of my qualifications that should be of particular interest to you are:
1. I am studious
2. I always strive for the perfect grade
3. I live to learn

More discussion about my aforementioned traits are dealt with on a more complete form in my CV.

As for your conclusion. You can make it stronger by mentioning that you are a self supporting student who earns just enough to cover you basic expenses. You know that you need higher studies in order to create a better future for yourself and you hope that they will take a gamble on you and help you achieve your life goals and ambitions through higher education.