I define my objectives as I see them.
... I think this line does not add any value addition to your response. Since there is a word count limit, you better make use of every word you write for this response.
I put in more efforts, more enthusiasm and more time towards achieving my dreams and accomplishing my passion.
.... I guess that "pursuing my passion " sounds more appropriate.
I want to become all I could in my education since am still young and has the burning passion to become the best.
.... this line is vague again especially the first section. Why you mention that you are still young? What's its link to this idea. It's not very clear and hence you better re-do this sentence.