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"How a Scholarship Award Would assist me in Achieving my career goals at the ITT TECH


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May 23, 2011, 11:28pm   #1
"How a Scholarship Award Would assist me in Achieving my career goals at the institute of technology"

My career goals are to preparated my self for a better future, not only ECONOMICALLY, but it will rich me

in a learning process. It's never to late to continued my education, and there always something new to learn everyday.

"I always ask my self about tomorrow?" If I don't do nothing about it, I feel like years are going throu and one day my kids will grown up

and ask me -Mommy why if you push us, so much to fishing school,and you never went back? I need to think about this questions and

I will love to have a answer, that's why when I see a call from INSTITUD OF TECHNOLOGY I answer with out though. I though

that it was time to go back to school.

I always though that going back to school it will be expensive, I though that I will never make it

with payments, but learning from Institute of technology it make me think that goals in life can come true, I only need the atitude

to make it happend and Atitude is what I have. when I hear about scholarships and wards I always think that thats a dream and

that's inposible, and I'm trying to changed that inposible to a posible becuase this award is going to help me to

start a better future a new life and a susseful career.I inspare my self thinking that is only going to take me 8 months

to fishing my career and I'm going to be a business persons wich it make my heart jump of happiness.

May 24, 2011, 11:44pm   #2
Greetings !

To be frank, This is not a right way for you to write a scholarship essay. This is an immatured written work. Try to put yourself into reader's position. Lot of grammar errors and sentence fragment. Your essay about 280 words. 280 words you can write effectively and impress the readers. You didn't even convert your motive and objective. This is my genuine feedback and don't get me wrong.

scholarshiphelp.org/scholarship_essay.htm
home-family.1howto.com/EducationStudent/How-To-Write-the-Scholarship-Essay.html
savvy-african.com/How-to-Write-a-Scholarship-Essay.html

Please access the above link. You will get some ideas.

Good Luck.
May 25, 2011, 09:25am   #3
Thank you, I appreciated this is the fist time I try to work on a essay. I know that I have problems with grammar and I know I need help thats why I needed a second opinion.
gloris:
"How a Scholarship Award Would assist me in Achieving my career goals at the institute of technology"

If this is the title, capitalize all the big words:

How a Scholarship Award would Assist Me in Achieving My Career Goals at the Institute of Technology


For a better future, not only economically but also for my personal enrichment, I want to experience my learning process at NAME OF SCHOOL.

in a learning process. It's never to late to continued my education, and there always something new to learn everyday.


This is a great warmup exercise, but like Isai said, it need to be rewritten. Please write some sentences for me about your PLAN for the future. What are your short term goals? What are your long term goals? Write about them, and we'll help you to correct your grammar errors.

Thanks for learning with us here at EssayForum!!
May 27, 2011, 12:30am   #5
thank you, my goals are that one day I will be a educated person and to have the knowledge of human resources Administrated.

I chose this career because I love to communication with people, it motivates me to help the employees us much I can.

Is a career that you learn everyday because laws on the states change continual. Most of the times employees like me don't

know there rights and we (employees) feel intimidated to ask for the reason of not getting the right idea.

I been working on a warehouse for 5 years and its not been easy, I learn us much us I can to continued growing in this company, I been promoted twice

and I feel excited but at the same time I relies that if one day I leave that company, I'm going to start back again.


"I have that for know hope I'm getting the right idea of what to write, sorry about the grammar again, I know is horrible :(" But I love the way you guys are trying to help me.
gloris:
thank you, my goals are that one day I will be a educated person and to have the knowledge of human resources Administrated.

Nope! That is not a goal. I mean, all you are doing is stating the career field you want to enter. But every student will be able to do that. You chose HR as a means of achieving your goal. What is the real goal you want to achieve -- what is the goal that you can achieve by working in HR?

Okay, I see what you wrote about enjoying working with people and wanting to help them know their rights, etc. So, that is meaningful to you? I guess the next thing to do is take inspiration from a great article about HR management. Can you find a fascinating article in a professional journal about HR? If you read a great article, it will give you excellent ideas about how to write the essay. It will help you to write about what is important to you and what you want to accomplish for people.

:-)
Jun 7, 2011, 08:17am   #7
Sorry I didn't answer sooner, but for a minuted I thought about giving up, I think to my self -I have this much trouble trying to write a essay
it's going to take me a life to go back to fix me grammar errors and don't even have a idea how to write a essay.

Well I start with this three points, So can you please tell me exactly what is in your mind, Its sounds okay to you if I write about this?


How a Scholarship Award would Assist Me in Achieving My Career Goals at the Institute of Technology

Intruduction:



you help me with this line "For a better future, not only economically but also for my personal enrichment, I want to experience my learning

process at Institute of Technology."




1)This Scholarship Award will Assist me economically, I will not worry about the money situations.I will focus
in study.





2) My goals are to be a example to my kids.






3)Learning about Human resources, will allow me to learn about me rights,
"For a better future, not only economically but also for my personal enrichment, I want to experience my learning process at Institute of Technology." ---This sentence is well-written, but it lacks MEANINGFULNESS. I want to see a sentence that tells the reader some particular fact about your PLAN.

1)This Scholarship Award will Assist me economically, I will not worry about the money situations.I will focus
in study.---Again, you wrote correctly, but instead of saying something obvious you should say, "IF I get this financial assistance, I can spend 60 hours this semester working on my manuscript about ___________. (or something like that). ----Show them that you are making good use of your time and that the financial help will make a significant difference.


2) My goals are to be a example to my kids.
That's everyone's goal

3)Learning about Human resources, will allow me to learn about me rights---Okay, but it is better to say something about a recent HRM article that you read in a professional journal.

I hope this gives you some good ideas!

:-)
Jun 9, 2011, 08:51am   #9
Okay I think I got what you trying to tell me. So I am going to explain you a little about this essay. It have to be no more that 500 words, dabble space, and is for $500 dollars. Needs to be a short essay.

I'm not a professional on writing us you can tell, (I don't want to look like a unprofessional ether). I want the reader to think that his investment is going to a good hands.

My points is: I am glad because you are spending time reading my word because that's what they are only words. I what you to know how much I appreciated your points of few.

Now I am going to start with the advice you give me. I let you know in what directions the wind glow.

Thank you, Kevin



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