Assisting others and working in the school environment is a passion of mine. Harvard app.

Assisting others and working in the school environment is a passion of mine. At the beginning of my sophomore year in High School, I started to go to the After School Tutoring program for help for my geometry class. I learned a lot and it made improve. In the middle of the year I decided to become part of the program, so I started helping others with their math. I knew their struggles since I was in the same position as the other students. This helped me a lot and I became the best student of geometry class. Since I was little I hated math but know that I am more mature I realized how much I love it and how proud it makes me feel whenever I can help others. After my sophomore year I decided to continue as a math tutor in my school, so I used to stay after school from 2:36 until 4:14 assisting other students. Helping them improve and learn how to do Algebra 1, Geometry and Algebra 2. It made me become more mature and stronger. I was able to make a difference between all the students in my school because even though I was not in sports I was able to use my free time to help others improve their skills. It worked and at the end of my junior year my hard work paid off because all the students I used to help in the tutoring program showed me their improvements. They showed me they learned and how their grades went up.

Hello,

What you need to do here is ask yourself..."Is this Harvard quality?" Do you really feel that this was worthy of acceptance to one of the most prestigious universities in the world? This is a very generalized extra curricular essay, one that can be found pretty much anywhere. Harvard demands more. You need to really dig deep to connect with the reader. To be impactful you really need to show exactly what were the initial issues that you found and then complete essay by describing the processes that you improved/designed or implemented. - Admissions Advice Online

Thank you for taking your time but this is a rough draft. I uploaded here since I'm trying to improve it and see if I can get help.

I am helping you improve it. You need to really dig deep to connect with the reader. To be impactful you really need to show exactly what were the initial issues that you found and then complete essay by describing the processes that you improved/designed or implemented. - Admissions Advice Online

Violetar, while I agree that your essay is generic in feel and content, I believe that it can be used as the foundation of your Harvard app. What we need to know right now is what the essay app prompt is so that we can help you design the prompt answer that could be considered Harvard material. It is the question being asked that will help us advise you regarding what particular traits Harvard is looking for in a student. The essay is your preliminary interview. So you need to strengthen your essay by offering the specific details that you are being asked to present. In an ivy league essay, it is best to never offer information that is not being asked.

What I am trying to tell you is this, the prompt creates the foundation for your Harvard app. It is the guideline by which your answer will fall into the unspoken criteria for admissions consideration. There is no secret to getting admitted to an ivy league school. You never really know what it is about your essay that will catch the attention of the admissions officer or admissions committee during final consideration. So just write the best essay that you can and let the admissions officer do his job.

All we can do for you here is help you polish the content and ensure, to the best of your and our abilities, that your essay is properly answering the prompt provided. Once you are confident that you have achieved that goal, then the essay is ready for submission.