what do you think about this revision?
I am writing to express my interest in applying for the master program of Mechanical Engineering. I strongly believe that both my educational background and deep concern in this field of study make me a very good candidate for the program. Finding out about how things are functioning around us, has always attracted me. Although it led sometimes to destruction of thing that I was trying to inspect. My childhood's dream job was becoming a pilot, but when I grew up, I realized that my dreams have changed and I wanted to fly with my designed airplane. I have found nothing more amazing than making plans, combing parts, and thriving nonstop and at the end watching what you have built, working. I am always ready to learn new things, especially those that represent a challenge for me.
I graduated with a bachelor's degree in Mechanical Engineering in the branch of solid bodies design two years ago at Iran University of Science and Technology. Meanwhile I have launched my internship at a hydraulic system consulting company, which I was employed later in. My current job's responsibility includes analyzing customers needs, interpreting demands to working systems based on hydraulic power, running feasibility studies and providing new solutions for higher efficiency in systems. I have taken part in workshops and training courses in order to extend my knowledge on hydraulic systems, which were quite beneficial to my career and studies.
I believe that my current working experience is the main reason that drives me to study in Germany. I have acquired sound knowledge of leading edge engineering principles, tools, practices with emphasis on designing, building and testing systems and now these experiences push me forward to learn more and to take a new horizon to gain more experience. Studying Mechanical Engineering in a country, which is the cradle of this science and origin of mechanical wonders, is a good opportunity for me to improve my knowledge both practically and theoretically. I expect that this master program provides me chance to get to know with mechanical systems and affiliates me to the industries, which are living examples of the art of mechanics. I hope that I can gain more experience in dealing with situations, people, systems, demands that will be of a great help to me for my future career.
Studying at your multicultural university enables me to improve my interpersonal talents. I would be learning in one of the best universities in Europe. Besides, I will have the opportunity to develop myself in an international environment giving me the privilege to meet new people with different points of view. That would be very enriching experience for me. The master program is offered in German and it drew my attention. I think I will be able to develop my German language talents, which will help me to form higher qualifications for my future. I am convinced that this master program would provide me with the necessary theoretical knowledge and practical skills I will need for a successful business management career in the future.
I realize the highly competitive demands of the program, but I have the ability, ambition and motivation to exceed the requirements and to excel at the university. I am eager to gain new experiences, and, in my opinion, this program is the best way to achieve that. I am positive that the TU Berlin and especially the mechanical engineering master program would be an excellent start for an ambitious business career. Therefore, I would be very proud and happy if I received the admission for this program.