'visited the funfair' - report writing

These are the situstions for writing a report:
your school asked for volunteers to entertain for a day , small group of young people from another country . you are one of the choosen . write an acount of what you did , considering these points:

1. tour of your school;
2. surrounding area;
3. local activities;
4. meetig friends and family;
5. food;
6. did your guests enjoy themselves?
i will be very very thankfull to you!
MY ANSWER TO THIS REPORT

I anxiously waiting for the guests to arrive. This was my first experience being a host for the foreigners so i was a little bit feeling nervous.

When they arrived , we made them visit our school. They were a group of students from america . They visited the classes and observed the environment and furniture. They met our teachers and had a look on the syllabus of senior school. T hey compared the syllabus with theirs and then they gave suggestions related to syllabus , so that the students of here could also improve.

There was a funfair in our school . They visited the funfair . they enjoyed punjabi foods and they were impressed by the school that even in funfair the cleanliness was mentained. And on the other hand they were not so happy with the greenery and noise pollution They did not liked that in funfair students were using abusive language and were talking in urdu . They asked principal to instruct students not to use abusive language anywhere and to speak in english wherever they go.

I requested them to have a lunch with my family and they enjoyed it. They were pleased to meet my family and relatives.

now please tell me that how i should end it ?
and secondly i think that it looks so childish according to my standard i mean that i am doing o'levels so please tell me my mistakes and tell me how i can improve it ?

please please please its a request that please rply me within 5 , 6 hours...
its so urgent

Yes, it does sound somewhat childish. I also notice some grammatical errors and odd word choices:


After they arrived, you forced them to visit your school? Surely, that can't be what you mean.


Really? The visitors to you school were so rude as to ask the principal to direct the students not to speak their own language?

"This was my first experience being a host for the foreigners, so Ifelt a little bit feeling nervous."

"I invited them to have a lunch with my family, and they enjoyed it."

thanks alot...
and also tell me how should i end it????

Why have you posted this in the graduate admission essay section when it does not seem to be, in fact, a graduate admission essay?

Is this an actual report of an event, or are you merely making up a report on an imaginary incident? Based on the wording of the instructions, it sort of sounds as if it might be the latter.


End with a conclusion, of course. Summarize whatever you think the main points of your report are.