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American events in a specific year -introduction, thesis & conclusion


her_heart 2 / 1  
Feb 21, 2007   #1
i have to write a research paper about 3 american events in a specific year. i chose the year 1990 and 3 the topics douglas wilder, africanized honey bee's, and the persian gulf war.

the introduction paragraph has to be very specific about the year 1990 and the topics. i'm not sure how to write my introduction or start it off or even how to write out my thesis that would be catchy enough. i have already written my body paragraphs about the particular subjects, i'm always stuck on the introduction and conclusion paragraphs 8[. please help! this is my first time doing a research paper btw. HELP! ASAP!

- her_heart

here is my conclusion. i dont think it's very good at all, will someone please help me edit it? i'm not sure what i should change either. especially when this topic should be specific.

The many events affecting America during the 1990's that changed the lifestyle of the American people were political, cultural, environmental and even agricultural. The Wilder Effect, The Persian Gulf War, and Africanized honey bees were events that changed America's ethics. The Wilder Effect changed the way America thought about racial discrimination. The Persian Gulf War showed America leadership. The "killer bees" presented a threat to the U.S. but also helped the U.S. furthermore on the study on Africanized honey bees. The aspects of developing America into a greater nation in the 1990's proved a great deal, these progressions lead America to what it is today.
EF_Team2 1 / 1,708  
Feb 21, 2007   #2
Greetings!

It's a little difficult to know how well your conclusion sums up the essay without reading the essay, but I'll give you my impressions.

"The many events affecting America during the 1990's that changed the lifestyle of the American people were political, cultural, environmental and even agricultural." - This sentence is not as smooth as it could be. See what you think of this: "The 1990s saw political, cultural, environmental and even agricultural changes which impacted American lifestyles."

"The 'killer bees' presented a threat to the U.S. but also helped the U.S. furthermore on the study on Africanized honey bees." - This isn't really a proper use of the word "furthermore." Better would be "also helped the U.S. further its study of Africanized honey bees."

"The aspects of developing America into a greater nation in the 1990's proved a great deal, these progressions lead America to what it is today." - This sentence does not really make sense. How about "These events of the 1990s helped shape America's future growth, making her a stronger nation." That statement may be a little too grandiose; I'm actually not sure whether those events had that effect or not!

Your introduction will be very much like your closing paragraph. They can often mirror one another, with slight changes in wording so that it doesn't sound repetitive. Show me what you can come up with, and I'll be happy to suggest editing tips for you. :-)

Thanks,

Sarah, EssayForum.com
OP her_heart 2 / 1  
Feb 22, 2007   #3
i dont think my introduction makes sense or has anything to do w/ my topic or my cobclusion.. i don't know how to fit a thesis in it or how i can make it sound catchy enough ... here is the whole thing but w/ a little bit o f punction correction...can you help me make it sound better. thank you very much btw!!!

The year 1990 emerges as one of the most American, life-changing events in America. Many changes occurred in the 20th Century in America more than any other time period. It was a time for America to pursue the potential to be independent, active, and prove that America is growing nationally strong. This rapid growing year shapes America for what it is today, politically, culturally, and environmentally. American ethics develop a moral standard thinking and leadership skills due to the rapid developments in the 1990s.

The development in America's attitude changes America in a political view concerning racial discrimination and "deracialization" is often called the Wilder Effect. The Wilder Effect suggests that white voters are more likely to tell pollsters that they support candidates than to actually vote for them ("Douglas Wilder"). There are two different, but not mutually exclusive, explanations commonly given: the first, that some white voters who otherwise would vote for a candidate decide that they cannot do so because of the candidate's race; the second, that some white voters feel obligated to say that they will support the minority candidate in order not to appear racially insensitive ("Douglas Wilder"). The unexpected closeness of the election to succeed Baliles on November 8, 1989 prompted a recount, which certified Douglas Wilder's victory against Republican Marshall Coleman by a spread of less than half a percent and Wilder an African-American was sworn in by January 13, 1990. Douglas Wilder became one of the first African American to be elected during the 1900-1999 20th century, into a prestige rank of office as governor of Virginia, after the American Civil War when Federal control was ended (Halverson). Wilder represented an important number of African-Americans who were elected, but also because many of these prestige ranks represented the first time that an African-American had been elected to the political standards. It was a great accomplishment for America's greatest struggles in the 1990s, for African-American politics. Lawrence Douglas Wilder made it most definite possible for African-Americans to transition themselves to much greater levels of abilities and triumph.

The United States involvement in the Persian Gulf War extricates future threats vital to the U.S.'s interest that assists the leadership of the American society. This event happened after prevailing in an eight-year war against Iran so costly that it nearly led to a military coup in Iraq (Phillips and Axelrod). Dictator Saddam Hussein on August 2, 1990, invaded and attempted to annex the small, oil-rich neighboring nation of Kuwait (Phillips and Axelrod). This position set Saddam Hussein a deep clutch on much of the work's oil supply; even if he chose to press the attack no farther, his seizures of Kuwait put him in a position to threaten Saudi Arabia and thus control the flow of oil (Phillips and Axelrod). Saudi Arabia began to fear that they may be invaded as well, and on August 7th they formally asked President Bush for US assistance (Phillips and Axelrod). Quickly responding, the United Nations formed a coalition of 48 nations and with the U.S. making the largest contribution; 18 other nations provided economic, humanitarian, and other noncombatant assistance (Kallen 34). The Security Council of the U.S. called for an immediate withdrawal of troops from Kuwait, imposed the use of military force of the UN, trade embargo, and war with Iraq if Saddam would not withdraw (Kallen 37). Because of America's leadership, cooperation, and assistance from others, they defeated the Iraqis and ended the war in five months.

Africanized honey bees, also known as "killer bees," affected many tropical parts of the U.S. The Africanized honey bees are descendants of southern African European bees imported in 1956 in Africa by scientists and honey bee breeders attempting to breed a honey bee better adapted to the South American tropics, to produce a faster rate and production of honey (Roe). This attempt failed and resulted in many killings. In 1989 these bees rapidly distributed into Central America and other parts of the country (Roe). By 1990 the bees reached the U.S., its first appearance in Texas and Arizona. Mr. Lopez, a rancher, said to be the first death in America by a killer bee was spotted in Texas (J.F.L.). Even though the effect of Africanized honeybees to the United States is small, it provided a natural historic event in America.

The 1990s saw political, cultural, environmental and even agricultural changes which impacted American lifestyles. The Wilder Effect, The Persian Gulf War, and Africanized honey bees were events that changed America's ethics. The Wilder Effect changed the way America thought about racial discrimination. The Persian Gulf War showed America leadership. The "killer bees" presented a threat to the U.S. but also helped the U.S. further its study of Africanized honey bees.


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