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'Love is blind, but sees into the heart' - Five senses - poem

I have to wite a five senses poem(the poet explores his/her emotions as they relate to:sight, smell, taste, sound,and feelings)
This is my Poem:

Love is blind
Rumbling thunder before the storm
Fresh like the earth after morning rain
Smell like beautiful flowers
Tastes like tart sweetness of strawberries
Love is blind, but sees into the heart

Can i write the poem like this...does it make senses?...please help me out
thank you soo much

can you also please edit this poem for me..this is a five line poem in a constructivist manner...my teacher gave me this example:
Mother (first line write an noun of your choice)
Caring and annoying (2 adjectives joined by and to describe the noun)
Worrying continuously (Write a verb and adverb to describe this noun in action)
Like a bird that is afraid (start 4th line with like or as followed by a comparison)
If only I were a psychiatrist! (Start final line with if only followed by a wish)

And this is what i have wrote

Innocent and gorgeous
Blooming beautifully
Like an expression of love
If only they would live forever

can you please edit mine..and say if it make senses please...
thank you soo much

Love is blind - I like this opening line :-)

It sounds like the thunder before the storm - Is it mandatory to "say" the senses (sounds, feels, etc.)? If not, you might want to use metaphor instead of simile. For instance, instead of "It sounds like the thunder..." you could say, "Rumbling thunder before the storm"

It feels like the earth after the first rain - perhaps "fresh like the earth after morning rain"?

It smells like red roses - I find the "red" a bit distracting, because it makes me think, "do they smell different from yellow roses? white roses? how can it smell like RED roses?"

It tastes like saccharine strawberries - "saccharine" has a somewhat negative connotation these days, denoting something which is too sweet; perhaps the "tart sweetness of strawberries"?

It lives everywhere - I agree, this doesn't seem to fit; perhaps you could refer back to the first line: "Love is blind, but sees into the heart" or something like that.

Your Roses poem does make sense! :-) You might want to add a bit of contrast to it though; too much sweetness can be bland. See what you think of this:

Beautiful and treacherous
Blooming innocently
Like love that pierces the heart
If only neither had thorns

This is a very different poem in tone from the one you wrote, and you may not like it, but I present to you as an example of contrast; you may do with it as you wish. ;-))

I hope this helps!


Sarah, EssayForum.com
I want to do my collage just like you said...but i'm not sure like how to present it to the class.i mean i know first i have to read the poem aloud but i'm not sure like how can i start of my presentation of the collage after i read the poem...can you please help me out..Thanks
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