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Glass: My first Free Verse Poetry....your thoughts


Smira Roberts 3 / 14  
May 21, 2010   #1
Hey guys...
i'm writing my very first journal entry but im not quite sure if everything is just about right. please read it and let me know your thoughts and suggestion--> it would be so awesome :)

from smira, xoxo

P.S i got no title so if u have any recommendations ...go for it

GLASS POEM

glass
speaks silently to hear itself
never whispering its thoughts
so afraid the break the strongest sound
which knowlingly paints the reflection

language understandable to the heart
stealing its own innocence with every breath
still and immovable

reminding the obvious with its deceiving colors
controlling what is not even there
features of a statue that opens the eye
concealed to remember the lyrics to the song
focused like the hunter and the hunted

broken it remains reckless
single to which is not handwoven
pieces echoes it uncertainty
which swiftly churns with guilt
unbearable to the ear

Yet they stare so loud
consuming the sympathy of a raindrop
heedless in its direction
arrogant is its sharpness that reveals
everything i ever wanted

confident it keeps the answer
to find itself cheating
screaming what was right
it mimics the shape of what seems to vital
that of mere touch
an expression

pieces glued together seemingly
solidified matchless attraction
of what was made by
YOU
Jd87rh 11 / 55  
May 21, 2010   #2
I'm not a poet, and don't know much about poetry, but I like your poem.

It makes my imagine the things you write about.
Like the glass speaking to itself but never for anyone else to hear.

or the hunter and the hunted!
what my advice is, think about what you are trying to convey and sleep on it.
and the next morning or in a few days go back into it and see if you expressed that idea or thought.

Thts what I do with my art, so maybe it applies to poetry as well!

Good luck!
OP Smira Roberts 3 / 14  
May 21, 2010   #3
To: Jd87rh

Thanks! I'm not a poet either but i am trying. As for your advice, i think i'll go ahead and try it. Seems like a reasonable thing to do...

Do you have any idea of what I should call it?

From: Smira, xox
allathlete5 5 / 19  
May 22, 2010   #4
I like this alot! I'm not a poet and i'm not too into poetry, but i like this!

as for the title, i believe it must come from you! I think after taking Jd87rh's advice the title should come much easier to you. You are the author i think it would come best from you!

Just my 2 cents though =)
OP Smira Roberts 3 / 14  
May 22, 2010   #5
awwwwwwwwwe...thanks !!
hahah ive been thinking about it though but i havent really got anything yet....

dont wory it'll come through....

thanks bob..

from smira, xox
EF_Kevin 8 / 13,321 129  
May 22, 2010   #6
Here is an idea I had...
so afraid of breaking the strong sounds
which knowlingly paint the reflection

And I would add a comma here:

broken, it remains reckless
single, a _______ which is not handwoven
pieces echo its uncertainty
which swiftly ...

This poem is a great gift to all of us who get to read it. Thanks, Smira, for sharing this.
OP Smira Roberts 3 / 14  
May 23, 2010   #7
awwwwwwwwwwwe thanks ..thats really sweet of you <3

I wasn't sure whether or not I should add commas, I guess I dont have too worry about that. Thanks for the advice. It was my fist poetry pieces. Honestly, I was kind of hesitating when I was posting it up, (poetry is a personal thing for me..) but im happy you guys enjoy it.. but kevin...do you have a suggestion for a title

from: smira, xox
EF_Kevin 8 / 13,321 129  
May 24, 2010   #8
do you have a suggestion for a title

Usually, I stare at the screen until the words that come to mind start to be good ones. Words that are just about perfect for expressing what you mean. The thing is, some words are sort of magic, because they make something happen in the reader's mind. Like the word whispering. That is a good one.

Hey, what is going on here:
pieces echoes it uncertainty
I think this may have an error, because I'm not sure how you mean it...

Anyway, for the title, you can choose a line from the poem, or you can do something crazy like write a long, complete sentence as the title.

Go deep into this poem to see all that it means, and when you come back to the surface you'll have a title. Maybe it will be one word, and maybe it will be 20 words.

:-)
OP Smira Roberts 3 / 14  
May 24, 2010   #9
oh haha...

pieces echoes its uncertainty...

at least thats what I think its supposed to be...

thanks guys..

From: Smira Roberts

I have a question ( its kind of random ) - I just wanted to confirm whether or not English is the only offical language in U.S?

I'm up in Canada..so I'm not sure...some say Spanish and English .. others just say English...:P

from smira xox
EF_Kevin 8 / 13,321 129  
May 25, 2010   #10
whether or not English is the only offical language in U.S

The U.S. has no official language, because it is a nation of diversity. Some people in the United States are involved in an "English Only" movement, and they want to make English the official national language. That seems like a strange thing to want to do during this era of globalization, though. As you can see at EF, people are blending cultures and language now... it's a beautiful thing! And brain research is showing that all students can benefit from learning multiple languages.


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