Save Me A Spot In College

NOTE: I've already submitted this but I wanted any comments on it. It might alleviate, or exacerbate, my worries about the poem's message. After the deadline, I thought that the poem might have an overused theme: My friends are interested in stuff, I'm interested in stuff, so let us in!

Prompt:
"Why should California's leaders save you and your peers a spot in college?"

Title: One Day

I have a friend
She loves to look
Through telescopes
She says:
I'll be among the stars one day

I have a friend
He treats the strays
With bandages and love
He says:
Each animal will be loved one day

I have a friend
He's a bit odd
No electronic thing
Remained intact in his hands
He says:
I'll build instead of break apart one day

And then there's me
I love to learn
The workings of the world
How a dollar in America
Can become two dollars in America
I say:
I will move people one day

So, I implore you
Save a spot for me and my friends
So that one day
We will say:
The world is better
Not in spite of us
But because of us

what is related to your prompt?

It's in the last stanza.

Sounds good to me. You have a clear theme, and you manage to sound poetic, which is pretty much the only standard for poetry today in most schools.

It's a scholarship

Is this your own innovation, or did they ask for a poem? I think it is a great idea, but, if you took it upon yourself to write a poem instead of an essay I think it is important to comprimise by writing a short essay to go with the poem (that way, you can't be construed as someone who shirked a responsibility to write an essay). However, if a poem was asked for, disregard this remark.

It is extremly cool.

I wonder if you could find a more rhythmic way to say the lines about one doller in America becoming two.

I like that sight rhyme with "says" and "strays!"

I guess, if it was my poem... I would put a period at the end of each stanza. Know what I mean? After the last line of each stanza.

I like it! The best part is the appeal, "Save me a spot in college." However, it would be better if it named this specific school instead of "college"... actually, maybe not... that might make it sound like a cheer. Yeah, keep it the way it is. It seems really inspired!

Well, the prompt doesn't ask to specify a college and in fact seems to point to all colleges in California.

The poem wasn't asked for specifically, but:

"Written word entries may take many forms: essay, story, poem, song lyrics, or any other format as long as the contest question is addressed."

So I'm pretty sure that it's acceptable to write a poem by itself. It would certainly be odd if they penalized me if they said a poem was allowed.