Night mare (poem) - I made it when i was 17

NIGHTMARE

"
I wanna have the same last nightmare again tonight

The one where I have myself in my most parts, I woke up and I survived

Just as my two walls closed me within

My eyes are opened up with the purest light.


I think there're some places in this life you can't find

Where people have their souls connected

Where children have themselves run wild

Where every single tree has itself reach for the sky


It's nightmare.

Where sorrows are bunches of fragrant flowers.

Where pains are emphatic victories.

Where death is the most joyful celebration.

And where Hell could sow the seeds of affections.


In nightmare

I believe I won't feel a wraith.

I can feel no aggravation, no frustration.

I see no defection, no degradation, and no corruption.

No more evils. Then

I will treat my wounds by true repentance.

I will pour my blood into total sincerity.

I will imprison my soul in eternal truths.


Maybe my spirit is sleeping somewhere cold.

Keeping my great secret in nightmare.

Dreamers are all alone. But I believe I am not.

For it is a whole new world in my own nightmare.

Nightmare is home.


Anyway, we can build up the very new paradise, here.

Together, we deny our demise

Decimate all the hypocrisy

Demolish all the jealousy

From the shadows of our past

From the depths of our crash

Stepping forward into the light

We all make it together.


We are all to conquer this endeavor

Stronger than ever.

Make our ascension.

It was not mine.

It's our dream.
"
any comments?

Wow, I like how the rhythm constantly changes. What are you going to do with this poem now? I wonder if it should have a more descriptive title.

This line is confusing: The one where I have myself in my most parts, I woke up and I survived (but I understand now that you meant that you were one of the people in the dream)

@EF_Kevin: reality is now not as good as nightmare. I simply cannot put up with this real life and I feel good in nightmare. That's why I prefer nightmare
Anyway, I need a more decent title

Well, it is a brilliant concept. Yes, it is cool and deserves a title that captures the deep meaning of the poem.

I really like the rhythm of this poem. I also like the way you ended it. I'm not a professional or anything, but the ending defines what the poem is about. Very nice.