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My Five Senses Poem about Compassion: Any ideas/suggestions? :/


Porkissimo 1 / 3  
Apr 12, 2010   #1
Greetings.

For school, our teacher gave us an assignment to write a five senses poem on a feeling.
Mine is compassion. Here is my poem:

Compassion is the color of a warm sunset
It sounds like the mourning cry or a loved one's death
It tastes like the __________
It smells like _________
It looks like an orange sky above the horizon
And it makes me feel kindhearted

I don't think I have enough vivid details to really express what compassion really is in five senses.
For the blanks, I can't think of any ideas in which compassion tastes and smells like. Feel free to fill in the blanks and make any suggestions/ideas/comments about my poem. I would gladly appreciate the help, thanks. ^_^
Mustafa1991 8 / 373 4  
Apr 12, 2010   #2
The thing here is that you can't taste compassion. But you can easily construct metaphors. For example, "compassion tastes like honey." "It smells like morning dew." Just make something up.
OP Porkissimo 1 / 3  
Apr 12, 2010   #3
Thx for your suggestions. It helped quite a bit. Here is what I came out with:

Compassion is the color of a warm sunset
It sounds like the mourning cry for a loved one's death
It tastes like wildflower honey
It smells like morning dew
It looks like an orange sky above the horizon
And it makes me feel kindhearted
EF_Kevin 8 / 13,321 129  
Apr 14, 2010   #4
I think you can find a better feeling than kindhearted.
I think the word "it" could be omitted so that it does not weigh the poem down.

This is a nice expression of how one might sense compassion if it were... sensible. hahah...

Nice job...


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