Down at the Beach -- at least 150 words

Down at the Beach

Down at the beach
The waves trying and trying to reach out
A man grabbing at the sand
Like it is a shovel, only it is his hand

Down at the Beach
The sand sticking to everybody like Glue
With the Blue watery ocean in view
Sand here, sand there,
The sand is everywhere

Down at the Beach
The lifeguards watch over
The seagulls hovering over above
People lying on the sand, people in the water
and maybe some call for help

Down at the Beach
The flags are standing tall and proud
Like soldiers at a Funeral
As they will lye
Down at the beach

by
Malcolm

third stanza, third line dont use other, find another word.

overall it is pretty good.

Down at the Beach

Down at the beach
The waves trying and trying to reach out
A man grabbing at the sand
Like it is a shovel, only it is his hand

Down at the Beach
The sand sticking to everybody like Glue
With the Blue watery ocean in view
Sand here, sand there,
The sand is everywhere

Down at the Beach
The lifeguards watch over
The seagulls hovering around and around
People lying on the sand, people in the water
and maybe some call for help

Down at the Beach
The flags are standing tall and proud
Like soldiers at a Funeral
As they will lye
Down at the beach

by
Malcolm

Thanks knich 6 what do you think now.I am suppose to write and self analyse the poem but dont know about the analysing too much.

Well, this part is probably not good. A big cliche is to say, "Here, there, and everywhere." I don't think it is going to be useful in the poem, because it s already all used up.

The imagery is great! I like the way you think, but this is not a self-analysis. This is a poem about the beach. ... but wait a minute, what do you mean about analysis? You are supposed to analye the poem?

Google this: poetry analysis
It will be easy to understand how to analye a oem if you look at a few web pages.

:-)

The ending is great.

I appreciate your input and feedback.It does make sense to me know.Yes i am suppose to analyse the poem and main reference to the word structures.

thanks for your help
Malcolm

yeah it is good now. i agree with kevin, the imagery is great!