sense of touch and sense of smell

We are covering how to use the five senses to make vivid and creative descriptions, and we are dedicating a poem to each of the five senses. Thus, these poems must emphasize the use of the required sense. Poems can be written in any style.

My Assagnment is to write 2 poems: one dedicated to the sense of touch and the other dedicated to the sense of scent.

Here is my first one that I would like feedback on: (two versions of touch poem)

Five frosty tingling fingers
stiff as icicles
cold as death
struggle to emerge from their encasement
in multicolored mittens
hard as concrete
Longing to snuggle a
silky smooth steaming mug
of sweet strawberry cocoa.

Five frosty fingers
Tingle like pins and needles
stiff as icicles
cold as death
Struggle to emerge from multicolored mittens
Encased in winters' concrete
Longing to snuggle a
silky smooth mug
of steaming hot sweet strawberry cocoa.

It seems like it should be ten frosty fingers,...but...are thumbs fingers?

When I first read the 2 versions of your poem, I thought, "cold as death" was good there, making me think of spring and rebirth. Then I realized what a difference in the whole poem without that line, and liked it much better. Now I can't decide.

Great writing, though!

I like the poem at the bottom better than the one at the top, but they both are really good.

I really like the bottom poem better. I also agree that it should be ten frosty fingers.

The poem on the bottom is better.
I too think it should be ten frosty fingers :)

I loved the second one,but I disagree with the others,i think it should remain five fingers,because people write poems when they are inspired, and I believe that u wrote five because it meant something.