I have also discovered her to be passionate and perseverant in extracurricular activities.
I have also discovered her to be passionate and persevering in extracurricular activities.
Impressed by her enthusiastic manner, I chose her as the hostess of the First English Speaking Contest of our school, and Miss XX proved to be the best for this work.
Impressed by her enthusiastic manner, I chose her to host the First English Speaking Contest at our school and Miss XX performed wonderfully. (I know that I changed the words a little there, but I think that the original intent is intact).
Her fluent speaking and witty manner, gained by constant practice and improvements, enabled her to perform well as the hostess
Her fluent speaking gained by constant practice enabled her to perform her duties as host in a witty manner.
And I appreciate it very much that though it was the first time she tried to take such a job, she was able to manage it perfectly.
Even though it was the first time she attempted such a job, she managed it perfectly.
In the past high school years, she has enthusiastically taken part in many other students activities, such as the School English Drama Festival, the Student's Company Activity, etc, which has also seen her versatility by serving quite a few positions.
Throughout high school, she has enthusiastically participated in many student activities such as the English Drama Festival and the Students' Company Activity which have showcased her versatility.
People in the US are not going to know what a "Students' Company Activity" is. It sounds rather vague and slightly scary. Is there another way to word it?
I wouldn't worry about your teacher's English too much. The schools will be judging you and not your teacher. Some of the little language quirks are kind of endearing.