Hello,
Could anyone give me some advice on my writing? Structure, style, logic, grammar, usage etc.
Thank you very much
Question:
You suspect your neighbours are treating their pets badly. Write a letter to The Society for the Prevention of Cruelty to Animals (SPCA) showing your concern and give details of any incidents of abuse you are aware of. Suggest what could be done to ensure the welfare of the pets and say why these measures are urgent. Sign your name "Chris Wong"
Dear Sir,
I feel compelled to write this letter and show my suspense that my neighbours treat their pets badly. I am writing to give details of the incidents of abuse that I aware of and suggest some ways to help the pets at their most urgent needs.
The first thing holding my attention to the problem is the strange smells and animal sounds that come from my next-door. One month ago, my neighbours moved to the place; then, I often could smell some dropping-like stink and hear many different kinds of animal sounds, including dogs', cat's, birds' and so on. Sometimes, the sounds are unbearable. It is just like they are at their small cages and without anything to eat in a whole week.
The second thing making my suspense is that the room of my neighbours is often of no man. I only have seen the neighbours three times since they moved to the apartment. And I used to find them for their pet-noise nuisance, but in no time there is anyone there. What can the pets eat when there is no people to take care of them? I really doubt about it.
I tried to contact the proprietor, but received no response. Then, I strike out that very second way to call for your help. I think there are two viable measures you can do to rescue the pity creatures.
Before anything else, you can send some inspectors to investigate the abuse. Being an animal-care society, you must have a more professional approach to tackle the problem as well as providing a more authorized suggestion to the government if it is necessary. I will be available if there is anything I could help for the investigation.
Moreover, you can spread the abuse to the press if it is a must. Therefore, the owner of the room will realize the seriousness of the problem, though we may not be able to contact them. More importantly, the government may therefore resort to a quicker and more powerful measure, breaking into the door and seizing the cages, to cope with the cruelty.
The measures should be launched before it is too late. The animals will die if the actions are not taken. All lives are equal. We must not watch them die without doing anything. It is barbarous if the masters maltreat their pets with no food and over crowed living place, especially in that modern city in 21th centuries. Besides, the potential abusers may have violated the law of protecting pets. The government should immediately take legal action if it is so.
Finally, I hope that you will take a top priority to the potential abuse and realize the suggestions above to ensure the welfare of the pets. I think this is what your society really cares of. Thank you for your attention.
Please find attached the address of the potential abusers.
Yours faithfully,
Chris Wong
Chris Wong
(489)
Greetings!
I think you make some very good points in your letter! It can be a challenge to write in a language which is not your first language. I've made some grammar corrections for you. (Note to American students: the writer is using British English spellings):
I feel compelled to write this letter to relay my suspicion that my neighbours treat their pets badly. I am writing to give details of the incidents of abuse that Iam aware of and suggest some ways to help the pets with their most urgent needs.
The first thing I noticed was the strange smells and animal sounds that come from my next-door neighbours' house. One month ago, my neighbours moved into the place; then, I often could smell some bad odours and hear many different kinds of animal sounds, including dogs', cat's, birds' and so on. Sometimes, the sounds are unbearable. It sounds as if they have been in their small cages without anything to eat for a long time.
The second thing making me suspicious is that my neighbours' house is often empty. I only have seen the neighbours three times since they moved to the apartment.
And I used to find them for their pet-noise nuisance, but in no time there is anyone there. What can the pets eat when there is no people to take care of them? I really doubt about it. - This part does not really make grammatical sense, and also seems to be just restating things you have said before, so I would delete it.
I tried to contact the proprietor, but received no response. Then, I decided to ask for your help. I think there are two viable measures you can take to rescue the poor creatures.
Before anything else, you can send some inspectors to investigate the abuse. Being an animal-care society, you must have a more professional approach to tackle the problem as well as providing a more authorized suggestion to the government if it is necessary. I will be available if there is anything I can do to help the investigation.
Moreover, you can contact the media, if necessary. Therefore, the pets' owner will realize the seriousness of the problem, though we may not be able to contact them. More importantly, the government may therefore resort to a quicker and more powerful measure, breaking into the door and seizing the cages, to cope with the cruelty. - I think you might be better off without this last sentence; you are speculating as to what the government might do.
The measures should be launched before it is too late. The animals will die if action is not taken. All lives are equal. We must not watch them die without doing anything. It is barbarous to leave pets with no food and in an over-crowded living space. Besides, the potential abusers may have violated animal welfare laws. The government should immediately take legal action, if so.
Finally, I hope that you will give top priority to the potential abuse and take action on the suggestions above to ensure the welfare of the pets. I think this is what your society really stands for, and I appreciate the work you do. Thank you for your attention.
Best of luck in your studies!
Thanks,
Sarah, EssayForum.com
It really helps me a lot.
Thanks again!
