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Letter of Motivation for applying Master course of Mechanical Engineering


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Dec 26, 2010, 05:01am   #1
Letter Of Motivation
Since my childhood,finding out about how things are functioning around us ,has always attracted me.Although it lead sometimes to destruction of thing that I was trying to inspect.As any child my dream job was becoming a pilot but when I grew up I realized that my dreams has changed and I wanted to fly with my own designed airplane.
I have finished my studies in Mechanical Engineering in the branch of solid bodies design two years ago at Iran University of Science and Technology.Meanwhile I was doing my internship at a hydraulic system consulting company which I was employed later in.I have found that my studies have enabled me to have better and wider sight of the phenomena and systems that are working around us and that helped me to work more efficient. My current job's responsibility includes analyzing customers needs,interpreting demands to working systems based on hydraulic power,running feasibility studies and providing new solutions for higher efficiency in systems.I have taken part in workshops and training courses in order to extend my knowledge on hydraulic systems which were quite beneficial to my career and studies.
There are several reasons why I decided to apply for Master program in Mechanical Engineering.Armed with Bachelor degree is just not enough in today's competitive world. You need to be equipped with the arsenal of higher degree and experience at the same time. I believe that my current working experience is the main reason that drives me to study in Germany.Studying Mechanical Engineering in a country which is the cradle of this science and origin of mechanical wonders is a good opportunity for me to improve my knowledge both practically and theoretically The diversity of this master program attracted me.The company that I am currently working at is cooperating with some active German companies in the field of hydraulic components and studying in multicultural university enables me to improve my interpersonal talents which gives me a global view how to communicate with people from different cultures.I have been studying German in last two years and I think I will be able to start taking part in the Master Program right after taking a semester of learning German and this program will also enable me to communicate with German firms easier. I look forward to see my dreams come true by becoming an alumnus of your university.I believe I have made the right choice to continue my studies and I would kindly ask for an opportunity to to complete my Master of Science in Mechanical Engineering.



i would highly appreciate if you correct my letter of motivation

Dec 26, 2010, 12:48pm   #2
Paragraph 1
Since my childhood,finding out about how things are functioning around us has always attracted me.Although it lead sometimes to destruction of thing that I was trying to inspect.As any child my dream job was becoming a pilot but when I grew up I realized that my dreams has changed and I wanted to fly with my own designed airplane.[/b]( try to talk more about you and dont compare yourself to others. If you want to talk about how you want to be what you want to become than describe more on what inspired you to want to design airplanes.) I have finished my studies in Mechanical Engineering in the branch of solid bodies design two years ago at Iran University of Science and Technology.Meanwhile I was doing my internship at a hydraulic system consulting company which I was employed later in.I have found that my studies have enabled me to have better and wider sight of the phenomena and systems that are working around us and that helped me to work more efficient. ( this is unneccessary) My current job's responsibility includes analyzing customers needs,interpreting demands to working systems based on hydraulic power,running feasibility studies and providing new solutions for higher efficiency in systems.I have taken part in workshops and training courses in order to extend my knowledge on hydraulic systems which were quite beneficial to my career and studies. There are several reasons why I decided to apply for Master program in Mechanical Engineering.( don't state it being severeal reasons but just stick with one or two important reasons) Armed with Bachelor degree is just not enough in today's competitive world.( mention how you would like to further your education in something that's your true passion) You need to be equipped with the arsenal of higher degree and experience at the same time.

Paragraph 2
I believe that my current working experience is the main reason that drives me to study in Germany.(since you state is your main reason elaborate more on that and its impact on you to wanting to recieve your masters in mechanical engineering. The things you've learned while being there and how you use the things you've learned to the best of your ability) Studying Mechanical Engineering in a country which is the cradle of this science and origin of mechanical wonders is a good opportunity for me to improve my knowledge both practically and theoretically.( love this sentence) The diversity of this master program attracted me[/s]( sense I bet everyone who's applying will write about diversity,don't mention it and stick with coherent reasons.)[s] The company that I am currently working at is cooperating with some active German companies in the field of hydraulic components and

Paragraph 3
studying in multicultural university enables me to improve my interpersonal talents which gives me a global view how to communicate with people from different cultures.( simply describe how it allow to those things) I have been studying German in last two years and I think I will be able to start taking part in the Master Program right after taking a semester of learning German and this program will also enable me to communicate with German firms easier. ( describe more on how you will benefit from the program and how it will help to achieve your goal and mention why you want to earn your master's at their school and no other school) I look forward to see my dreams come true by becoming an alumnus of your university. I believe I have made the right choice to continue my studies and I would kindly ask for an opportunity to to complete my Master of Science in Mechanical Engineering.

Also your essay should be written with one focus and one of things you should avoid while writing any kind of an essay to a school is having it go many different directions than one.And be more straight forward and tell the readers why you truly want to apply.
Dec 27, 2010, 04:14am   #3
what do you think about this revision?

I am writing to express my interest in applying for the master program of Mechanical Engineering. I strongly believe that both my educational background and deep concern in this field of study make me a very good candidate for the program. Finding out about how things are functioning around us, has always attracted me. Although it led sometimes to destruction of thing that I was trying to inspect. My childhood's dream job was becoming a pilot, but when I grew up, I realized that my dreams have changed and I wanted to fly with my designed airplane. I have found nothing more amazing than making plans, combing parts, and thriving nonstop and at the end watching what you have built, working. I am always ready to learn new things, especially those that represent a challenge for me.

I graduated with a bachelor's degree in Mechanical Engineering in the branch of solid bodies design two years ago at Iran University of Science and Technology. Meanwhile I have launched my internship at a hydraulic system consulting company, which I was employed later in. My current job's responsibility includes analyzing customers needs, interpreting demands to working systems based on hydraulic power, running feasibility studies and providing new solutions for higher efficiency in systems. I have taken part in workshops and training courses in order to extend my knowledge on hydraulic systems, which were quite beneficial to my career and studies.

I believe that my current working experience is the main reason that drives me to study in Germany. I have acquired sound knowledge of leading edge engineering principles, tools, practices with emphasis on designing, building and testing systems and now these experiences push me forward to learn more and to take a new horizon to gain more experience. Studying Mechanical Engineering in a country, which is the cradle of this science and origin of mechanical wonders, is a good opportunity for me to improve my knowledge both practically and theoretically. I expect that this master program provides me chance to get to know with mechanical systems and affiliates me to the industries, which are living examples of the art of mechanics. I hope that I can gain more experience in dealing with situations, people, systems, demands that will be of a great help to me for my future career.

Studying at your multicultural university enables me to improve my interpersonal talents. I would be learning in one of the best universities in Europe. Besides, I will have the opportunity to develop myself in an international environment giving me the privilege to meet new people with different points of view. That would be very enriching experience for me. The master program is offered in German and it drew my attention. I think I will be able to develop my German language talents, which will help me to form higher qualifications for my future. I am convinced that this master program would provide me with the necessary theoretical knowledge and practical skills I will need for a successful business management career in the future.

I realize the highly competitive demands of the program, but I have the ability, ambition and motivation to exceed the requirements and to excel at the university. I am eager to gain new experiences, and, in my opinion, this program is the best way to achieve that. I am positive that the TU Berlin and especially the mechanical engineering master program would be an excellent start for an ambitious business career. Therefore, I would be very proud and happy if I received the admission for this program.
Dec 27, 2010, 05:21pm   #4
I am writing to express my interest in applying for the master program of Mechanical Engineering. I strongly believe that both my educational background and deep concern in this field of study make me a very good candidate for the program. Finding out about how things are functioning around us, has always attracted me. Although it led sometimes to destruction of thing that I was trying to inspect. I've always been interested in finding out about the function of things around us even though when I tried to sometimes inspect it, it led to descructon. My childhood's dream job was becoming a pilot, but when I grew up, my dream had changed into wanting to fly with my own designs of planes. Through years of craftworking, I have found nothing more amazing than making plans and combing its parts into a work that was meant to be flown. After seeing something I worked hard to build fly with success, I become driven to want to make my next project even more better. As an individual I'm always ready to learn new things, especially those that represent a challenge for me.

I graduated with a bachelor's degree in Mechanical Engineering in the branch of solid bodies design two years ago at Iran University of Science and Technology. Meanwhile I have launched my internship at a hydraulic system consulting company, which I was employed later in. My current job's responsibility includes analyzing customers needs, interpreting demands to working systems based on hydraulic power, running feasibility studies and providing new solutions for higher efficiency in systems. I have taken part in workshops and training courses in order to extend my knowledge on hydraulic systems, which were quite beneficial to my career and studies.

I believe that my current working experience is the main reason that drivesuse another word than drive) ( me to study in Germany. I have acquired sound knowledge of leading edge engineering principles, tools, practices with emphasis on designing, building and testing systems and now these experiences push me forward to learn more and to take a new horizon to gain more experience. Studying Mechanical Engineering in a country, which is the cradle of this science and origin of mechanical wonders, is a good opportunity for me to improve my knowledge both practically and theoretically. I expect that this master program provides me chance to get to know with mechanical systems and affiliates me to the industries, which are living examples of the art of mechanics. I hope that I can gain more experience in dealing with situations, people, systems, demands that will be of a great help to me for my future career.

Studying at your multicultural university enables me to improve my interpersonal talents. I would be learning in one of the best universities in Europe. Besides, I will have the opportunity to develop myself in an international environment giving me the privilege to meet new people with different points of view. That would be very enriching experience for me. The master program is offered in German and it drew my attention. I think I will be able to develop my German language talents, which will help me to form higher qualifications for my future. I am convinced that this master program would provide me with the necessary theoretical knowledge and practical skills I will need for a successful business management career in the future.

I realize the highly competitive demands of the program, but I have the ability, ambition and motivation to exceed the requirements and to excel at the university. I am eager to gain new experiences, and, in my opinion, this program is the best way to achieve that. I am positive that the TU Berlin and especially the mechanical engineering master program would be an excellent start for an ambitious business career. Therefore, I would be very proud and happy if I received the admission for this program.

I absolutely love the changes you made.Also the fact that you sticked with one focus really did made your essay well written.

Hey by the way can you tell me what you think of my columbia essay?



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