Unanswered [17] | Urgent [0]
  

Home / Writing Feedback   % width Posts: 3


Ielts graph: Mobile Phones Market in 2005 & 2006


prostyle 1 / 1  
Apr 7, 2011   #1
The table gives information concerning participation of different mobile phone producers in the international market in 2005 and 2006
The data shows that Nokia had the highest share of buyers with 32.5% in 2005 and 35% in 2006. Motorola was the second popular brand all over the world with 17.7% of the total market share in 2005 and 21.1% in the next year. Samsung was another giant manufacturer of cellulars. It produced 12.7% of all mobile phones in 2005 and with a slight decrease at 0.9% in 2006. The two companies which were the most similar was Sony Ericsson and L.G. Both had about 6.5% in 2005, however, Sony Ericsson went further reaching 7.4% in 2006 while L.G showed decrease in this year. Benq Mobile was at the bottom of the list of companies with 4.9% and 2.4% in 2005 and 2006, respectively. Other companies comprised 19.2% in the first year and 16.2% in the next year.

In general it is clear that there were a lot of companies which were competing with each other to get higher share in the worldwide market of mobile phones.



EF_Kevin 8 / 13,321 129  
Apr 9, 2011   #2
I think in that first sentence the word "several" or the word "various" might be better than "different."

Also...keep were with were---> The two companies which were the most similar was were Sony Ericsson and L.G.

This has to be 2 sentences:
Both had about 6.5% in 2005. However, Sony Ericsson went ...

In general it is clear that there were a lot of companies which were competing with each other to get higher share shares in the worldwide market of mobile phones.

:-)
ekekek 25 / 51  
Apr 11, 2011   #3
Samsung was another giant manufacturer of cellulars. Itwhich produced 12.7% of all mobile phones in 2005 and with a slight decrease at 0.9% in 2006.

^0^


Home / Writing Feedback / Ielts graph: Mobile Phones Market in 2005 & 2006
Writing
Editing Help?
Fill in one of the forms below to get professional help with your assignments:

Graduate Writing / Editing:
GraduateWriter form ◳

Best Essay Service:
CustomPapers form ◳

Excellence in Editing:
Rose Editing ◳

AI-Paper Rewriting:
Robot Rewrite ◳