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"The world is a puzzle" - rutgers essay


iram 1 / 4  
Oct 28, 2009   #1
The world is a puzzle; each piece is unique and different in its own way. Each piece has its own shape, color and size, yet at the end, they depend on each other to hold the pieces in place. All the pieces come together for a single purpose, to create a picture. That picture is the world; each country plays an important role in the world.

Rutgers University truly has a diverse community. In which many of my own personal experiences can add to this group. One such experience is that has been an active presence in my life for the past two years. Volunteering has brought out the best in me, it helped me to understand that everybody is different.

The world is a puzzle; each piece is unique and different in its own way. Each piece has its own shape, color and size, yet at the end, they depend on each other to hold the pieces in place. All the pieces come together for a single purpose, to create a picture. That picture is the world; each country plays an important role in the world.

Rutgers University truly has a diverse community. I believe Rutgers University will be able to offer me much more than just a higher level of education. With its diverse community of different cultures, experiences, and people, Rutgers University will expose me to a world I am familiar with, but on a much greater scale. The diversity in the small town I grew up in was unlimited, but even with this endless diversity taught me there is much more to a culture than its food and holidays.

To Rutgers, I will bring knowledge of diversity that I have learned through my volunteer experiences, an attitude of acceptance, as well as a determination to succeed that will, hopefully, affect others. Volunteering has brought out the best in me, it helped me to understand that everybody is the same; you should not judge a book by its cover.

I am a junior volunteer at Saint Clare's hospital and I love to go there and help the doctors who treat the patients. One day, everything changed my whole perspective; I was assigned a task to do which was to go read to a blind woman. I had never been given anything like this to do. While on my way to the room, I was scared I kept asking myself "What am I going to do, she cannot see me?" and I kept thinking how awkward it will be and if I do or say something wrong.

When I got there, I was nervous to talk to her, but when I started, the conversation seemed to flow easily. She was no longer a "blind woman", but just a woman who enjoyed life. She was like any of us who enjoys spending time with her family, likes to play outside or watch (I mean hear) the TV. She did not seem to mind though. I will never forget that day. Before I left, I asked her a question, "Do people treat you any differently, like special?" She said, "Let me ask you a question. Did you treat me any differently?" I thought to myself and realized that I had my answer and it was "No I treated her just as I would treat anybody". That question had a huge impact on me; it helped me realize what really matters in life.

From that day forward I kept something with me that has been implanted into my head since, "Nobody is different, everybody is the same". We are alike we each have a heart and a soul, and care for others. We depend on each other to help get through life. Life is tough but you keep moving on , no matter what the obstacles are; you will always have somebody to depend on no matter who or where their from. No matter what the problem is we all come together for a single purpose, weather that purpose is to create a better world or help a love one in need. Everybody plays an important role in our world no matter what type of food you eat or what language you speak, you are an important piece in the puzzle.
OP iram 1 / 4  
Oct 28, 2009   #2
sry forgot prompt:Rutgers University is a vibrant community of people with a wide variety of backgrounds and experiences. How would you benefit from and contribute to such an environment? Consider variables such as your talents, travels, leadership activities, volunteer services, and cultural experiences.
EF_Sean 6 / 3,491  
Oct 28, 2009   #3
How would you benefit from and contribute to such an environment?

So, this is the question you are supposed to be answering. Your narrative anecdote, while entertaining, doesn't seem to do this very well, though to your credit you do try to make it relevant at the very end of your essay. However, your actually answer to the first part of the question doesn't show up until your last paragraph, and it is this:

It will allow me to expand my education

A university will allow you to expand your education? Remarkable! You have to be able to come up with a better answer than this.

Your answer to the second part of the prompt also doesn't appear until the very end, and it is this:

I will bring knowledge of diversity that I have learned through my volunteer experiences, an attitude of acceptance, as well as a determination to succeed that will, hopefully, affect others.

This is a bit better, though it would have been nice if you had opened with this then told the volunteer story, but it is still very vague and boilerplate.

So, I'd suggest trying to come up with stronger answers to the prompt questions, putting those answers at the beginning of your essay, then using your anecdote to demonstrate the truth of those answers.
OP iram 1 / 4  
Oct 28, 2009   #4
thank you i will try to make it stronger.
EF_Kevin 8 / 13,321 129  
Oct 31, 2009   #5
Don't be redundant:
The world is a puzzle; each piece is unique and different in its own way.

That picture is the world; each culture plays an important role in the world. represents the collective wisdom of...

This is very thoughtful!! Much of it is very impressive. You just need to weed out every sentence that is unhelpful. Every statement of the obvious, every redundant statement. But the thoughts are very good. I think you will enjoy readng about Fairbairn's structural theory because of your idea of the world being a puzzle -- I really enjoyed that.


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