"When people succeed, it is because of hard work . Luck has nothing to do with"
You must work to achieve something and be successful
Behind every succeed are many aspects works, and some time luck is also works. I believe that if hard work is not enough luck is not important. Hard work is necessary to achive a goal or target. Who doesn't like hard work, they depend on luck. In world history and today's world people are succeed because of struggle with every circumstance.
People who do hard work in their life they don't need or worry about luck. They just concentrate on their target. Bill gates, a richest person in world, he had a time that he has nothing. But he done efforts to his life, year by year he became more rich. In my country, Dhirubhai Ambani, a famous businessman. In his past time he was selling newspaper in streets. Then he started selling another things and slowly he start a small business and that business nowadays turn in cores rupees impair. These is not happened in few months, it takes 25 year and more. However, noticeable thing is that succeed people never wait for chances. They grab chances from everywhere to achieve the goal. If they wait for call of someone or think that their luck will work, they couldn't became a successful person.
Sometimes if you have luck but you do nothing work, the luck is diappear from your life. In childhood, everyone heard the story of King Midas, Who has the power to change thing in gold. He changed every things of his castle in gold and his daughter, when he touched her. Luckily, he had a power but he lost his daughter. As this way if you have a luck and you don't use it with intelligence you couldn't be a succeed in life.
Above discussion, I agreed that people succeed because of a hard work. Luck is nothing important to it. I believe that luck always come with whom, who do struggle and hard work in life. Win is always your if you do fight from your deep heart.The language in this needs lots and lots of work. The grammar is nearly indecipherable, the sentence structure is very weak, and the essay is very difficult to read.
I get the main points, but it takes a lot of time to figure out what you are saying.
I think that you are really going to struggle with college work until you do a lot more work with basic English.
Thanks for comments. I will write again with correction.
I have just joined ESL classes and I am going to give TOEFL on 11th Dec.In a short time I try to cover all things.
Beyond the English grammar problems, which you will only overcome with a lot of hard work and time, your essay ideas are also too simplistic. Bill Gates was born into an upper middle class family (luck on his part). This gave him the opportunity to go to university, to learn about computers, etc. So, while he is undoubtedly a hard worker, and while hard work was very important to his success, luck also played a key role in his rise to success.
I agree with Sean, and your idea might be too "extreme": "When people succeed, it is because of hard work . Luck has nothing to do with"
You can't really prove that, it's your opinion and there is no right or no with one's opinion but it's like saying
"ALL(EVERYONE) people will succeed if they work hard." That is simply not true... Try use most instead. maybe like 90% hard work 10% luck or something like that.
the most important thing for nonnative speakers is that not to translate any thing from their native language because it sometimes sounds fanny and make no sense.
first essay i wrote, my teacher was not able to understand the main Idea. because i wrote in my native language then i translated to English.
a richest person in world you can say { one of the richest people in the world}
In childhood, everyone heard the story of King Midas i never heard about it.
if you have a luck and you don't use it with intelligence you couldn't be a succeed in life. how can we use the luck??
I believe that if hard work is not enough luck is not important
do not transect any thing from your native language
Hard work is necessary to achive a goal or target
goal=target same meaning. Hard work is necessary to achive your goal.
who do not like to work hard, they relay on luck. ???????????
they couldn't became a successful person. people.
Your thesis should probably be something along the lines of "Success often requires a combination of good luck and hard work, but of the two, hard work is the more important. This is true because . . ." Then list your reasons, and you have a decent intro. The examples you use are solid, but the connective material needs altering to tie everything back more clearly and concisely to your thesis.
