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'Gotta Catch 'Em All' - Common App Personal Letter Prompt 4


JesusH12079 1 / 1  
Jan 17, 2012   #1
Hello! This is my common app essay. I picked topic 4. I need some advice on where I should go with this essay, I am stuck on my second paragraph. I have two directions that I could take my essay: first it could lead on how Ash Ketchum taught me how to be a leader, or two how Ash Ketchumm taught me about biodiversity and made me want to be a Biologist. I have a lot of sentences that need to be synthesized into a paragraph any help much appreciated. I really hope you guys can tell me how you feel about the essay? is it a good topic? What direction I should go, where to merge ideas, or scrap it and start new? Thanks!

Gotta Catch 'Em All

"I choose you Pikachu" I yelled synchronized with Ash Ketchum. Throwing my collectible Burger King Poké Ball at the wall, watching as a miniature Pikachu spring out. "This is it", my heart pounding in rhythm with the taiko drum, playing in the background. "Pikachu dodge Bulbasaur's Vinewhip, use Thunderbolt". Yelling at the top of my lungs "Bulbasaur is unable to battle; the victor is Ash Ketchum from Pallet Town".

Every battle seemed to be choreographed, made so I could mimic it, using all of the latest merchandise. I was completely immersed in the world of Pokémon, chasing the dream of one day becoming a Pokémon Master. I thought by watching every episode, even in Japanese; attending every Toys"R"Us tournament; collecting every TCG expansion set I could get that much closer to my dream. Even convincing myself that Pikachu was achievable, through a mouse and a battery. As a five year old, I would've done anything to be a Pokémon Master, but time only showed that it was a dream that was unreachable.

As each season of Pokémon passed, my tie with Ash dwindled. Becoming a Pokémon Master was just a mere remnant, of what was. A once obsession, became just a forgotten dream. Only to be shocked back into consciousness by Middle School "Science Fair". I realized that my childhood obsession was actually a genetically manipulated world of Dr. Moreau. Still wanting my own Pikachu, I dedicated 3 years of research and experiments to become a Genetic Master. By my Eighth grade Science Fair, I was splicing DNA fragments of peas and onions together. Only for my dream to be stopped once again, when trying to splice genes from an electric eel into a mouse, was "too inhumane".
saurabh93 11 / 94  
Jan 17, 2012   #2
Every battle seemed to be choreographed, made so I could mimic it, using all the latest merchandise . This sentence was repeated in your paragraph. Your area of interest is unique, but you barely describe how it has impacted you to this day.

If time, can you please edit mine?


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