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"From a remote Canadian town to Columbia University" - Supp - Why Columbia?


Andromeda21 3 / 17  
Dec 26, 2010   #1
Prompt: Please tell us what you find most appealing about Columbia and why (1500 chars)

When it comes to America's top universities, the main selling points of a school are always the same: its renowned faculty, its unparalleled research opportunities, its flexible programs - in short, what the school can do for the student. Certainly, Columbia possesses all of these alluring qualities; but in my opinion, what puts Columbia above and beyond other selective schools is not what Columbia can do for the student, but what the student, through Columbia, can do for the world.

Growing up in a remote Canadian town, the radius of my influence was, in the most generous times, limited. Then in my freshman year of high school, my family moved to Lecanto, Florida. Though the upgrade was comparable to moving from a town that was invisible on a map to one that could be mistaken for a passing speck, my determination was unwavering. I founded LHS MedShare: a widely successful group committed to sending medical donations to the nation of Haiti.

Now, I have the potential to embrace the hub of international dialogue, the core of opportunity, the University of Columbia, and the chance to lift my humanitarian ventures onto a global platform while simultaneously receiving the paramount of academic education. Personally, the true reward of education is the ability to bring about positive change in the world; in my eyes, no school embraces this aphorism more completely than Columbia University.

__________________________________________________________________

Any criticism is greatly appreciated. Do you think I adequately addressed the prompt?

Thank you in advance!
Benn_Myers 8 / 46  
Dec 26, 2010   #2
You not only addressed the prompt, you blew it away. This is a fantastic essay for such a short answer. I'm not just saying that because I'm one of those people who likes to post a lot of short, unthoughtful out answers either. This is well-written, personal, interesting, and a little bit charming. You did damn good.

Best of luck.
deadpool123 2 / 8  
Dec 26, 2010   #3
This is an AMAZING essay. However, I don't know why but I feel like you have to be a bit more specific. You write brilliantly, but if you try to substitute Columbia with say NYU or any other prestigious university, it still works. Maybe its just me. Nonetheless, you are a brilliant writer!
evaporate - / 1  
Dec 26, 2010   #4
I'm not going to lie - that was brilliant. Probably better than 90% of the drivel that admissions officers receive, anyway. There's nothing especially creative or outlandish about your response, but it elicits a really positive image of you as a student. Somehow, it just "works".

There are some slight grammatical errors, but they don't detract from your message:

Growing up in a remote Canadian town, the radius of my influence was, in the most generous times, limited.
^ Subject confusion.
OP Andromeda21 3 / 17  
Dec 26, 2010   #5
Thank you all so much!
In response to Robert, you're right. It's not that specific to Columbia, I'll fix it up.
To evaporate, that is soooo nice of you to say! Also, you're right about the subject confusion but I think I'm going to risk it, but thanks for pointing it out.

I'm going to read all of your posts to see if I can help you out at all.
I'll be posting more essays all day, I've got like 5 supps to submit this week!! aaahhh!!
blackpixel23 19 / 46  
Dec 26, 2010   #6
I agree with deadpool123 here. No doubt you write wonderfully and such but you are lacking specifics. What things at Columbia can help increase your radius of influence? What programs/teachers have shown you that Columbia will help you help the world?

Add those little details, and your response will be solid.
OP Andromeda21 3 / 17  
Dec 26, 2010   #7
One of the reasons I cut out details was because I'm teetering on the character limit.
So here's my attempt at details, this is a rewrite of the first part of the last paragraph.

Now I have the potential to embrace the hub of international dialogue in metropolitan New York, the home to the World Leaders Forum, the source of student based Global Impact clubs - the University of Columbia

Do you think that's better?
deadpool123 2 / 8  
Dec 26, 2010   #8
I think that mentioning the World Leaders Forum is great, but mention one or two of the Global Impact Clubs.


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