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"personal college experience" - Why Northwestern


Mariam93 2 / 4  
Dec 23, 2010   #1
Hello, I'm applying to Northwestern University. Below is the rough draft of my supplemental essay. Feedback - both positive and negative - is greatly appreciated.

Prompt: What are the unique qualities of Northwestern - and of the specific undergraduate school to which you are applying - that make you want to attend the University? In what ways do you hope to take advantage of the qualities you have identified?

My friend Elise attends Northwestern University. During my college search, I e-mailed her asking what she thought of her school. In return, I received several lengthy paragraphs full of praise for Northwestern. Elise gushed about so many aspects of Northwestern that I was stunned. I hadn't expected such a passionate response to my casual query. I realized that if students were this enamored with Northwestern, it was definitely a good idea to learn more about the school and apply for admission.

Last summer I traveled with my family to Chicago to visit my grandparents. I took this opportunity to take a tour of Northwestern's Evanston campus. My most salient memory of the tour occurred at the bridge, where I could see Chicago's skyscrapers standing across the lake. This view powerfully illustrated how Northwestern offers the best of both worlds - the seclusion of a college town with the opportunities and vigor of a major city. Though I have visited Chicago a few times, I have not truly explored the city. Attending Northwestern would give me the opportunity to embrace this Chicago, but at the same time I would not feel overwhelmed by it. Much of my family tree is distributed throughout the Chicago area, so it would be easier for me to adjust to being away from my hometown.

Beyond Chicago, I constantly seek to understand the world around me, and I plan to undertake the international studies major in conjunction with political science. I also hope to make use of Northwestern's variety of study abroad programs in order to develop foreign language skills and study the politics of another country. But the opportunity to experience the world can be found at Northwestern itself. Attending Northwestern would expose me to the unique perspectives and ideas of a diverse student body hailing from all over America and the rest of the world.

Flexibility has been a major criterion in my college search. Northwestern's use of distribution requirements rather than a rigid curriculum greatly appeals to me, as it offers both structure and the ability to choose courses that genuinely interest me. I have many interests apart from my chosen major, such as human development and media studies. Not only would I choose from the thousands of courses available at the Weinberg College, but I would be able to take courses at the School of Education and Social Policy or the School of Communication to supplement my study of political science. Northwestern's quarter system is especially conducive to the idea of embracing multiple disciplines. Every moment of class would be meaningful, and I would be able to fit a wider range of courses into my college education.

Despite providing the broad, comprehensive education often associated with larger schools, Northwestern's small size allows for a more personal college experience. The emphasis on advisors shows the supportive nature of Northwestern - it shows the extent of its effort to help all students succeed. I also appreciate the opportunity to interact with prominent academics and scientists in the classroom, professors who are genuinely interested in sharing their knowledge.

I didn't think it was possible to find a college that was aligned with my needs and wishes, but Northwestern has everything - flexibility, opportunity, diversity, and a location balanced perfectly between town and metropolis. At the end of her enthusiastic assessment of Northwestern, Elise encouraged me to apply, as she didn't regret enrolling one bit. After discovering Northwestern and realizing how much it has to offer, I know I won't regret it either.

Thank you so much!
Benn_Myers 8 / 46  
Dec 23, 2010   #2
This is a good essay. Content wise you've covered all your bases, your specific and clear as to why you want to go to the school and that's your main goal.

Stylistically I think you're a bit too much of a thesaurus writer, you use words belonging to the upper end of academia with a frequency that doesn't feel natural. Generally the best writing is the writing that reads like someone is talking to us and there are a few parts of your essay where you overload the reader with overly complicated words. Simple words are just as useful as complex ones, and I'd suggest toning down the vocabulary in your essay.

Also your intro is good but I feel it drags on a bit too long, and is easily the place in which your thesaurus writing problem is clearest. I'd revise and rewrite your intro.

Good luck!
the_astronaut 2 / 4  
Dec 29, 2010   #3
This is a good essay. The words flow seamlessly into each other, and like the commentator above, I would suggest using more concise, familiar diction.

Good luck on your future college endeavours!


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