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Speculating Causes Essay - Causes of Crime, Sentence Revisement and Errors, Passive?


jk17 6 / 9  
Apr 22, 2011   #1
Need help rewriting/revising these few sentences.

1. Generally, people commit crimes because of impoverished environment surroundings, low financial or social status, and poor or corrupt judgment, as in white-collar crimes.

The first one my teacher circled 'because of' and marked 'the subordinatings conjunction', so how should I rewrite it? I am thinking use 'as a result of' instead of 'because of'. Suggestions?

2. Crime may be committed out of the ordinary, without any thought or it may be committed with great consideration, as in most robberies; however each criminal commits a crime for their own purpose.

Second one, 'may be committed' is in passive voice. How could I rewrite the sentence into active voice?

Is this passive? 'Sometimes, crime is committed out of the ordinary....'

Thanks!
stickit1 1 / 1  
Apr 22, 2011   #2
Try the following for the first question.

due to, on account of, by reason of, or by virtue of.

The second question.

"maybe" is a word that is not definite, use something along the lines of "is currently committed".

Not sure if I helped due to I am new at writing papers.
EF_Kevin 8 / 13,321 129  
Apr 23, 2011   #3
Generally, people's motivation to commit crimes comes from impoverished...

Is this passive? 'Sometimes, crime is committed out of the ordinary....'

Yes, just look at the subject of the sentence. Crime is the subject of the sentence. So... you want to make it active, so you have to make it so that the subject of the sentence is doing something instead of having something done to it.

Sometimes, people commit crimes because of circumstances that are out-of-the-ordinary, without any thought, and other times they may commit crimes after great consideration, as in most robberies; however each criminal commits a crime for their own purpose.

:-)


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