( I need to use only necessary words, I can make the sentence shorter, combine 2 sentencess or change a word for more appropriate)
This looks to me like a homework assignment through which you are supposed to demonstrate your ability to do these things. We are not here to do your homework for you. We are here to give you feedback on your own writing. We will be happy to give feedback, including suggested corrections, on any of your own work that you post on this forum. But we will not complete this homework assignment for you.