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'Passionate about business studies' - correct sentence?



lkformtchThreads: 3
Posts: 21
Author: khalid guest     		Mar 20, 2012, 10:05am   #1
Hello everyone,

is it right to say this ? : my passion about business goes right back since i was a child

thank you for replying
chalumeau     Mar 20, 2012, 10:20am   #2
"My passion for business goes back to childhood."
Alternatives:
"My passion for business goes back 30 years."
"I have been passionate about business for 30 years."

Your welcome
lkformtchThreads: 3
Posts: 21
Author: khalid guest     		Mar 20, 2012, 11:50am   #3
thank you very much chalumeau
lkformtchThreads: 3
Posts: 21
Author: khalid guest     		Mar 20, 2012, 12:33pm   #4
I have another question, thanks in advance,

is it correct to say this ? :

this bachelor degree will prepare me for graduate level courses and research, as I am keen to participate in some research projects
chalumeau     Mar 21, 2012, 02:38pm   #5
this bachelor degree will prepare me for graduate level courses and research, as I am keen to participate in some research projects


A bachelor's degree will prepare me for graduate-level coursework and research.

I thought that the rest of the sentence was simply a restatement of the first part.
Here's a more thoughtful example:

" Obtaining a bachelor's degree is a necessary first step, as I am keen on performing graduate-level academic research in the near future."
lkformtchThreads: 3
Posts: 21
Author: khalid guest     		Mar 22, 2012, 02:49am   #6
Thank you very much chalumeau, I appretiate it
lkformtchThreads: 3
Posts: 21
Author: khalid guest     		Mar 22, 2012, 03:21am   #7
Hello everyone ,

here is an essay of why I have selected a bachelor degree in computer science , please tell me what you think about it, thanks :


Since an early age, I've always been passionate about computers and their hardware and software architectures, how data are handled and transferred from the cpu to the memory and vice versa , and then stored in a disk drive , etc ...
I believe a computer science degree will provide me with theoretical as well as practical knowledge in programming, algorithms, operating systems, software engineering,

Obtaining a bachelor's degree is a necessary first step, as I am keen on performing graduate-level academic research in the near future.
chalumeau     Mar 23, 2012, 01:41pm   #8
Since an early age, I've always been passionate about computers and their hardware and software architectures, data storage, and processing components. how data are handled and transferred from the cpu to the memory and vice versa , and then stored in a disk drive , etc ...
I believe a computer science degree will provide me with theoretical as well as practical knowledge in programming, algorithms, operating systems, software engineering,

Obtaining a bachelor's degree is a necessary first step, as I am keen on performing graduate-level academic research in the near future.
lkformtchThreads: 3
Posts: 21
Author: khalid guest     		Mar 24, 2012, 05:35am   #9
Thank you chalumeau,

what about the struck through line, do I have to change it ?
chalumeau     Mar 24, 2012, 09:44am   #10
jsadklasdj means to delete that part.

Any other questions?
What programming languages do you know?
lkformtchThreads: 3
Posts: 21
Author: khalid guest     		Mar 24, 2012, 12:12pm   #11
Hi,

I know java, php, c/c++, .net , etc ..

please tell me about that crossed out text, a reason why i have to delete it,

thank you very much
lkformtchThreads: 3
Posts: 21
Author: khalid guest     		Mar 26, 2012, 08:00am   #12
Anyone ?
chalumeau     Mar 26, 2012, 11:31am   #13
Since an early age, I've always been passionate about computers and their hardware and software architectures, data storage, and processing components. how data are handled and transferred from the cpu to the memory and vice versa , and then stored in a disk drive , etc ...

---"Always" means "every single time." It's inappropriate to use "always" and another modifier ("since an early age") that means "for a long time." I would use one or the other.

Let me give you another example, "I learned how to knit sweaters five years ago, and I've always been passionate about knitting." I would use the more specific clause mentioning the five years: "Since I learned how to knit five years ago, I've developed my passion: the cable knit sweater."

I try to avoid phrases that use "vice versa" and "etc."
lkformtchThreads: 3
Posts: 21
Author: khalid guest     		Mar 27, 2012, 11:25am   #14
Thank you very much, i appreciate it


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