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Is there an error in this phrase?

GiannaThreads: 2 Posts: 2 Author: Gianna Roa	Oct 15, 2008, 09:58pm #1
To obtain MBA as starting point for reuniting my business experience and engineering background, then establishing my career in marketing field in a multinational electronic company such as Samsung. Obtaining an MBA as a starting point for reuniting my business experience and engineering background will then establish my career in the marketing field in multinational electronic companies such as Samsung.

EF_Team5Threads: - Posts: 2,657 Author: Gloria, EssayForum.com	Oct 16, 2008, 02:38pm #2
Good afternoon. Grammatically, as it is this statement is a fragment. I suggest: Obtaining an MBA will be a starting point to unite my business experience with my engineering background in order to establish a career in the marketing field, expressly in the business setting of a multinational electronic company such as Samsung. I hope this helps. Regards, Gloria Moderator, EssayForum.com

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