Statement of Purpose for Master of International Business in Melbourne Business School

Hi, I want to apply in Master of International Business in Melbourne Business School. I had to write a SoP not more than 500 words which will include the following:

Details of personal circumstances as well as life and work experiences. It should emphasise any aspect of personal history that may enhance application, including extra-curricular activity, community involvement, work experience, relevant personal characteristics and any outstanding achievements.

Please help me fine tuning the SoP I have written.

I believe the true meaning of globalization lies in integrating knowledge and cultures other than only integrating economies. So ever since I dreamt of a 'global Bangladesh' I always aspire to earn a global degree because it is the most effective platform to learn and share new things. Moreover, as a business graduate with a distinctive CGPA, I had the urge for higher studies. But due to family issues I had to start working. However, being highly optimistic and persistent I decided to capitalize my job experience and earn a global degree that will ignite me with knowledge, leadership and network and where I can infuse my experience as well. In my years in BRAC I have worked with people of different nationalities and cultures. This exposure attracted me to learn management in international context. Applying for Master of International business is the first step to fulfill my dream.

I joined BRAC in 2012 as Management Trainee. I was entrusted with the responsibilities of a project manager very shortly after joining BRAC because of my outstanding leadership and astute management style that I exhibited during probation period. It was a research project named 'BRAC Financial Diaries Project' the largest diary project ever led by an NGO. The main objective of this project was to have better understanding of peoples' financial lives. The project was inaugurated in five districts covering 400 respondents of different social tiers.

I managed a team of 16 people for more than a year. Team formation to rolling up the project- every stages of the project were equally challenging. I had to choose my team from a group of people who had no prior idea of research. I groomed them in a way so that they can think and act like a team with an inquisitive mind just like a researcher has. I trained them the method, data collection techniques and research ethics. I always let them express their opinion so that they feel empowered and a sense of ownership grew among them.

I always love to take new initiatives and maximize the impact of the project. For instance when I saw that retrieving data is difficult for my respondents, I took a different strategy. I developed a pictorial diary for them to help them record all the transactions they had every day. This instrument was designed in a way that the respondents were able to find the trends of their income and expenditure which ultimately help them in better financial decision making. So I successfully turned this research project to a financial literacy tool for the respondents. The success of this project also opened up the avenue for similar research in a global context. A 3 country financial diaries will be started very soon to determine living wages of garment worker.

I firmly believe the transition of a manager to a leader will be done with the help of a global management degree that will equip me with multi faceted knowledge blended with hands on experience.

You may want to change the second sentence to:

Since dreaming of a 'global Bangladesh,' I have aspired to earn a global degree it is the most effective platform to learn and share new things.

Your essay is great but you have some issues with keeping everything in the appropriate tense. Good luck though!

Waliza, since you do not really go into great detail about the financial circumstances the led you to pull back on your advanced studies for a period of time, it would be best to simply not mention it in the essay. The way you have the essay set up, by discussing only the highlights of your professional experience, doesn't really leave you with much room to present that part of your personal and academic life in a manner that would be of interest to the reviewer. Whenever you find yourself discussing a part of your life in only one sentence, it is always best to just skip it. That kind of discussion makes it irrelevant to the overall content of the essay and doesn't help to improve it at all.

Now, when you mention "Global Bangladesh", you should take the time to explain this concept to the reviewer. Tie it in with your purpose for higher studies and why you feel compelled to be a leader in this field. Don't mention these topics are mere skimmed over discussion points. I know, you only have 1500 characters with which to discuss everything. So at this point, you need to review the essay and decide which parts you can cut out. One suggestion as to how you can do this is to opt for the work experience that you feel will help to really enhance your application. Then stick to developing that experience alone. That is how you save on word count and create centered essay.