Hi y'all!
Greetings from sunny Thailand. I am new to this thread, so please bear with me if I do anything improper here. I am hoping to get some feedback, if possible, on my SOP for a PhD program in Epidemiology. Thank you so much in advance.
Statement of Purpose
I became interested in public health and epidemiology as an undergraduate student and decided to undertake graduate studies in Epidemiology. During the course of my Master's degree, my interests became more focused on global health. For the past four years, I have worked in epidemiology research on relatively wide variety of topics, but I find the issue of health of under-privileged or vulnerable population in low and lower-middle income countries to be most interesting.
My master's degree thesis research was on maternal and child health in a resource-poor community in the Thai-Myanmar border area with a large ethnic minority population. I found the research to be challenging due to low level of resource, yet very interesting due to the high level of migration and displacement, and the socio-demographic and cultural complexities of the primarily marginalized population. When the research was near completion, I started looking for opportunities to gain additional experience in other similar settings.
After completion of the Master's thesis, I started working at [xxx] University in Southern Thailand initially as a Coordinator for a conflict study project to map the incidence of conflict-related violence in the Deep South region of Thailand. Approximately one year later, my contract as a coordinator was finished and I was transferred to the position of Research Assistant at [xxx]. My job responsibilities at [xxx] included assisting graduate students in data analysis and manuscript-writing, providing research consultation for medical residents of [xxx], drafting grant proposals and related documents, and assisting faculty members with original research and analysis of large datasets. At the moment, I am collaborating with faculty members to study the risk of chronic diseases and health behaviors of Muslim people as a minority group in the Thai context based on the [xxx] dataset.
My research interests were also shaped by my overseas work experience. From May 2011 to March 2012, I participated in a [Western country]-sponsored 10-month South-South exchange program in Bangladesh, where I worked with [xxx], a local health NGO. My main mandate was to provide consultation on research and generation of empirical evidence, and I also assisted the NGO with routine monitoring and evaluation tasks. During my stay in Bangladesh, I was primarily based at the [xxx] headquarter in Dhaka. My main research activity in Bangladesh was in assisting a Medical Officer of [xxx] in analyzing data and writing a manuscript on gender discrepancies in access to treatment for cataract at one of the mobile hospitals. I also assisted [xxx]'s Programme Officer for Research, who was previously posted to Nepal on the same South-South exchange program scheme, in writing a manuscript based on data on equity of access to improved water and sanitation in a traditional township near Kathmandu, Nepal. However, as [xxx] worked mainly on prevention and treatment of avoidable disabilities and morbidities, I also had a number of opportunities to observe the community-level programs near the field hospitals in rural areas in Western Bangladesh, including low-cost but effective interventions e.g. SONO filter for removal of arsenic from drinking water, home gardening scheme to improve child nutrition, training of traditional birth attendants, and health education programs to raise awareness on disabilities and referral to treatment. Although I had the chance to write a short evaluation report on the mentioned intervention programs, I also would like to undertake such intervention-based research in a more systematic manner in order to generate empirical evidence and provide valid recommendations for further improvement.
Based on my previous experience, I plan to continue working in global health epidemiology. For this purpose, pursuing doctoral-level studies in epidemiology with research related to specific low-cost intervention in developing countries setting seem to be the most sensible course of action. However, despite the fact that Thailand has been recently re-classified as a higher-middle income country by the World Bank, it is unknown whether the Royal Thai Government will play a more active role in providing international development aid in the near future. Therefore, I am obliged to look for such training opportunities elsewhere. The Doctoral Program in Epidemiology at [xxx] has been very proactive in global health, with excellent staff and ample opportunities to conduct research overseas. I am interested in seeking the mentorship and guidance of Assistant Professor [xxx], particularly in her studies in Kenya, Nepal and Bangladesh on the effect of intensive hand-washing promotion on risk of influenza, and mediating factors for such behavioral changes. I would regard the admission to the [xxx] not only as an honor, but also as a mandate for me to work for the public good.
Thank you so much for taking the time to read through my essay and for your very valuable feedback, Islam.
I was trying to justify my reason for wanting study PhD overseas, where I can visit another third-world country and do health research, but I really agree that I wrote too much about my past and too little about my plans and contribution to the Program to which I am applying. Thanks again.
I found the research to be challenging due to the low level of resources , yet very interesting due to the high level of migration and displacement, and the ...
After completion of the Master's thesis, I started working at [xxx] University in Southern Thailand, initially as a Coordinator for a conflict study project to map the incidence of conflict-related violence in the Deep South region of Thailand.
During my stay in Bangladesh, I was primarily based at the [xxx] headquarter in Dhaka. ---I don't think you need this sentence. I think you should cut out any sentences like this that are not really important for the main idea you're trying to get across.
My main research activity in Bangladesh was in assisting a Medical Officer of [xxx] in analyzing data and writing a manuscript on gender discrepancies in access to treatment for cataracts at one of the mobile hospitals.
... I also would like to undertake such intervention-based research in a more systematic manner, in order to generate empirical evidence and provide valid recommendations for further improvement.
...and guidance of Assistant Professor [xxx], particularly in her studies in Kenya, Nepal and Bangladesh, on the effects of intensive hand-washing promotion on the risk of influenza, and mediating...
I don't think you need to do anything to make it stronger besides cutting out sentences that you don't need, because extra sentences can make a very interesting essay turn boring. :)
