Hello! I kindly ask anybody who have experience in writing or checking motivation letters to help me with it! is it enough information or should I add or cut smth? thank you.
To whom it may concern:
I would like to express my desire to study at the University of **** in for 2013/14 academic year. I am applying for the Master degree in Marketing Management. Having read all the testimonials about **** Business School and visited educational fairs and consultations with job advisors I became assured that this program best suites my goals in both studying and future career.
At the moment I am studying Socio-Cultural Business in my last, tenth semester at the Saint Petersburg University of Humanities and Social Sciences, Russia. In May 2013 I will graduate with a specialist honors degree with an expecting GPA of 5.0 (100%) which puts me among top three students at my university. Alongside with this program I was doing a course in Conflict Management which was invented with the support of V. Putin. I had finished this course with a bachelor degree with GPA of 4.8 out of 5 in December 2012.
Speaking about my educational background I can't help but to mention my experience in studying abroad. In 2011 I was chosen to participate in Erasmus program and went for one semester to the University of Applied Sciences in Ludwigshafen, Germany. I studied such courses as Top Management Consulting, Business English, Work and Organizational Psychology to name a few, which broadened my horizons in an international business sphere. This experience gave me not only knowledge in areas mentioned but also a capacity to adapt to a multicultural society. This simultaneous interdisciplinary education expands the sphere of my future career possibilities and gives me more knowledge in different business sectors. Due to it, I am able to have a greater understanding of current problems of marketing in Russia.
The reason which underscored my desire to take a Master course in Marketing Management is that I want not only to assess the role of marketing from global perspectives but also to apply my skills and received knowledge for developing this specific area on an international scale and in Russia in particular.
The modern problems of marketing in Russia have become very crucial especially after its' entering to the WTO in September 2012. Besides, the experience I have from making my research project devoted to the specific features and the prospects of marketing developing in Russia shows the ambiguous conditions of Russian market formation and economical immaturity of Russian market that impedes the growth of some areas of marketing. This has led me to the decision of taking this course even more, because it will give me a chance to develop international collaboration in the sphere of marketing.
As for my personal qualities I can mention my purposefulness and leadership skills. As a student I used to participate in a huge variety of group projects such as writing business-plans and designing marketing strategies for different sorts of companies. I was often a team leader responsible for information gathering, role distribution, coordinating dates and interpersonal activities. Each time I headed the project our team achieved only the best results.
In addition to my academic achievements I have working experience in different fields what has allowed me to improve my communication skills, learn about the inside mechanisms of organizations' functioning and learn consumer needs and expectations. I am certain that this experience will help me in the future not only in working but also in studying.
Considering all the facts above I can assure you that having become a student at the University of **** I will exceed your expectations and bring a high level of academic progress, energy and creativity to your campus.
Thank you for your consideration and I look forward to my application being accepted.
Sincerely yours,
Olesya Fedorenko
I will read this over once again to see if I understand your passion and motivation for attending the college but, for now I fixed the majority of your errors.
Best of luck on your journey!
Thank you so much! I hope you`ll find time to read it again and find out if there's something wrong with motivation and passion))
I do want to help you further but, tell me, how long is this supposed to be(word count range)? Who is this letter for? What does the question ask you? It seems to be a cover letter,Is this a cover letter?...If they want you to write more, so be it but, lets be real here. Most college admissions have to go through thousands of applications and they are tired. they don't want to here nonsense. They want your genuine voice, reason, and passion to show. Your letter can be very simple and well written. I have to run to the bank right now but I will help you further...
check this site regularly for my updates...
^^^^^hear*...(yup, lost my credibility)
So, may be I can add information such as "After having studied in the United Kingdom I will surely return to Russia. My future career ambition is to work in a marketing department in one of the international companies in Russia alongside doing a PhD", "Besides studying I took a great part in my university's activity. Being an Ambassador of my university and a tutor for first-year students helped me a lot for developing my presentation and interpersonal communication skills", "Speaking about my extracurricular activities I can mention my hobby - that is studying foreign languages (French and German in addition to English, planning to study Chinese) and modern dancing. Besides, I am a member of a Russian Youth Volunteer Society so I regularly participate in volunteer programs visiting an orphanage and a boarding school for children with disabilities for organizing fun activities and games. Furthermore I often take part in fund-raising events and social causes", "I am also a member of the Management Club and Student's Scientific Society. Every year I participate in the Annual Science Student Conference and in the Contest of Students' Projects. One of my works called "Corporate Identity and Corporate Image as the Foundation for Corporate Communication" won the first place in my university and was sent to the All-Russian competition", "Also, I am a fourfold scholar of my home university. I gained a tuition fees discount up to 95% every year due to my academic and organizational activity in university".
What do you think about this?))) Should I include it to this letter and if yes, where?
Thank you so much again for you help! ^^
I see, but you need to organize it. For instance, you write about dancing and never mention it again. have a paragraph for your most important accomplishments
Paragraph 1: intro
Paragraph 2: academics: ambassador/tutor/prior school
(paragraph about this)
Para 3: hobbies: foreign Lang/dancing (pick one...if you have to)
(paragraph about this)
Para four: volunteer: Russian youth society or any other volunteering
(write a paragraph about what you did here)
Para five: why you want to transfer and what you will do (the part where you talk about modern problems of society)
the end
now revise your paper according to this format
