Dear all,
I wanna apply for PhD in materials science and engineering.
It would be appreciated if you help me and comment on my SoP. According to university website my SoP should:
-Demonstrate your passion for and knowledge of your intended plan of study using the language of the field
-Articulate how a graduate degree will help you achieve your future personal, professional, and career goals
-Specify your intended program, area of study, research interest(s), and desired advisor (if applicable)
-Describe your professional and/or presentation experience
-For research-based graduate degrees, also describe your research, enterprise, and/or publication experience
Time causes change and maturation of mind, convergence comes to your goals and you find your way of life constantly. Hence, having accomplished an inspiring course in Materials Science and Engineering (MSE) Department as B.Sc. and M.Sc. student, already I conceive that it is necessitous for me to refine my knowledge and skills in my areas of interest and pursue my education toward PhD. This would give me the leading edge in technology and information I require.
As an undergraduate student my research focus was on the "my thesis title which is related to a welding process". Beside of my interests in Welding processes, having a solid background of computer programming encouraged me to simulate a Welding process. Although my supervisor, Dr. XXX, warned me about the difficulties of this project that I may face and stated that this project can be more than the expectancy of a Bachelor's thesis, I was sure that I could outperform in this job due to my great interest and experiences in computer programming. In order to acquire a better insight and approach through my thesis, I voluntarily attended graduate course with topic in "course name". Moreover, during my B.Sc. thesis, I got very well acquainted with FORTRAN programming language and ANSYS software. Having accomplished my thesis, I won the first prize of the 3rd annual competition for the most outstanding thesis in bachelor's degree at XXX(my undergraduate university). During my undergraduate studies, I found the prediction of mechanical behavior of the materials due to their microstructure very impressive and appealing. Therefore, tending to quench my desire to predict materials behavior, I have done some experiments through the microstructural evolution of Al-2024 and Ti6Al4. Through these experiments I could see how changes in microstructure, resulting from specific heat treatments, can affect mechanical properties such as hardness and tensile strength.
In summer 2008, I participated in 5th competition of Heat Treatment in XXX, as the team leader. This experience not only trained me to work with different types of high temperature and atmosphere controlled furnace, but also taught me to behold a scientific issue through the eye of industry need. Besides, I grasped the ability of the team management; and it was a precious experience of teamwork.
Taking National University Entrance Exam for the master's degree of Materials Science and Engineering, I was honored to be ranked 10th among nearly 6000 candidates. I started my graduate studies in Fall 2010 in the School of Materials Science and Engineering, Welding Engineering group at XXX(my master university), which is the most prestigious engineering institution in Iran. I carried out my master's thesis titled "XXX" under supervision of Professor XXX. This six-credit thesis consists of two phases: I) producing CP-Ti cored-wire electrodes and II) depositing a composite layer on CP-Ti using TIG method. The interdisciplinary nature of my research provided me the opportunity to increase my knowledge not only about the welding and surface properties, but also about heat treatment, casting, and forming of Titanium and its alloys.
Regarding my academic background, I would like to work on research areas such as joining, surface coating, MMC, and solidification for pursuing my education. I would like to specifically mention that research areas of professor XXX and assistant professor XXX inspire me to be an active part of their group, for I believe I can outperform in these areas and achieve my desired goals.
I believe an astute student is the one who excels his life along with his education. Having passed NDT training courses (VT & RT), I decided to hold these courses at XXX. This determination ended in 6 prosperous classes and more than 60 students. I also have taught VT course which is always suggested for the one who wants to get the NDT set certificate. Holding these courses augmented my managerial abilities to have a better insight of considering and handling many aspects at the same time, and it was a precious experience of leadership. Furthermore, I have been teaching computer programming at XXX school for two years. The key points of this course was around writing and developing an algorithm for a problem, and then, writing a program in Basic or Visual Basic programming software. Also I have taught Adobe CS Flash, Theory of Games, and "fun with Metals" as extra-curricular courses at XXX. I enjoyed teaching students, for every second of it was challenging and helped me to practice the skills needed for teaching.
I believe that Department of Materials Science and Engineering of XXX University with its high number of notable faculties supplying instructive and innovative projects and various labs with first-rate facilities would provide me with essential knowledge and skills. Also, having been supported by many leading companies in the industry, this department shows the industrial oriented research areas. Playing the most critical role in being successful, these elevated circumstances embolden me to continue my education as a PhD student at your department and empowers me to become an outstanding researcher who makes headway, and also opens up new roads for the others by being a part of the new wave of change. Moreover, seeing both academic and industrial environments, I selected my career objective with the goal of working as a full-time professor. To get prepared for such a career, I want to start my PhD studies at your highly esteemed university, which hopefully help me be prepared for both successful research and teaching.
I hope the Admission Committee considers me for an admission and thus gives me the opportunity to show my thirst for knowledge.
Time causes change and maturation of mind, convergence comes to your goals and you find your way of life constantly.
Well... I don't find this line adding much value to your answer. May be it is not strong enough to set up the link between your idea with it.
I conceive that it isnecessitousnecessary for me to refine my knowledge
I believe that Department of Materials Science and Engineering of XXX University with its high number of notable faculties supplying instructive and innovative projects and various labs with first-rate facilities would provide me with essential knowledge and skills.
Overall I feel your sentences are a little crowded and hence their clarity is somewhat disturbed. Try and improve !
