Ever since my childhood, I always had keen interest in finding opportunities to make things happen. Due to my curiosity in finding out new ways I enjoy conducting research and exploring new advances in technologies and techniques. I had a passion for applied physical sciences and mathematics which prompted me to give the Common Entrance Test, where I was ranked in the top 10% of the nearly 1,00,000 students who appeared for the test. I have completed my engineering specializing in Mechanical stream. After finishing my Undergraduate in Mechanical Engineering, I did my Masters in Mechanical Engineering from xxxx.
Through my, Education and work experience, I have not only acquired a certain set of skills but also realized my fields of interest and my academic strengths and weakness. In reality my interest lies in applied mathematics and in abstractions of reality. In particular, I am interested in the Management and Decision making aspects of Industrial and technological systems. Currently I am working at HP as Quality Analyst, involves work on Testing and maintenance of web services and also involved in managing and co-coordinating the resources and off-shore teams, which has helped me improve my managerial and leadership skills and understand the challenges and responsibilities involved. My past internship work at GE involved working on the design and analysis of Generator for establishing a FE process, but I also got a chance to understand the importance of Engineering Management in an Industrial point of view. The reading of certain outstanding books such as Skinner's 'Manufacturing in the Corporate Strategy', Gibson "Manufacturing management: principles and concepts" and Goldratt's 'The Goal' further enhanced my interest. Being a Mechanical Engineer I have good knowledge of how things work, but I am interested in knowing how to make things work in an effective manner. At this point an Industrial engineer comes in to picture who can determine the most effective to use the basic factors of production to develop managerial control system.
I have an exposure with the courses such as Productivity Management, Reliability, Advanced Manufacturing Engineering, Probability and Statistics which will become my strong background for my advanced research and education. I also have good programming and logical skills. I am a very creative and detailed oriented person. My communication skills are very good and I like presenting my ideas in both oral and written form. Advanced training in this area will help me to make an essential contribution to what may be the most impelling force for growth and greatness in our society.
xxxxx is one of the top best schools in the world with a strong orientation towards research .With the information provided by the department on the web, excellent resources, eminent faculty, carrier opportunities coupled by excellent feedback from the present students in the department, I am sure this program will definitely bring out the best in me. The diversity of research interests in the Management and Decision analysis is of particular interest to me.
I would like to reiterate that I possess the background, the ability and the motivation to make a significant contribution to Industrial and Systems Engineering department. I hope you will take a favorable decision regarding my admission to the PhD program and I look forward to joining the xxxx.
Hi Sharmi!
I think you're off to a great start here. I do have a few major suggestions for you:
-Make your intro more specific, or cut the opening sentences. The 'ever since my childhood' trope is pretty generic and will be seen in many SOPs. So, start with a specific event or intellectual interest, or cut to the bit about the Common Entrance test.
-Try to show how your present (or most recent) job role has prepared you for this type of study, and how this type of study will get you to the 'next level.' Aside from some mechanical issues, content-wise, this is great:
"Currently I am working at HP as Quality Analyst, involves work on Testing and maintenance of web services and also involved in managing and co-coordinating the resources and off-shore teams, which has helped me improve my managerial and leadership skills and understand the challenges and responsibilities involved. My past internship work at GE involved working on the design and analysis of Generator for establishing a FE process, but I also got a chance to understand the importance of Engineering Management in an Industrial point of view."
Can you give more details about your management function and what you do? What skills do you need to build? What are your goals???
-Avoid the 'laundry list.' You write:
"I have an exposure with the courses such as Productivity Management, Reliability, Advanced Manufacturing Engineering, Probability and Statistics which will become my strong background for my advanced research and education. I also have good programming and logical skills. I am a very creative and detailed oriented person. My communication skills are very good and I like presenting my ideas in both oral and written form."
If you can't ground a skill in a specific experience or anecdote (show rather than tell), it's not worth mentioning.
-Conclusion: I would encourage you to think more specifically about why each school is a good fit for you. This paragraph will have to be tailored to each school--fleshing out distinctive elements of the curriculum, professors' work, clubs/organizations, geography (near certain industries?), etc. Doing so will indicate that you have done your research, and that you are ready to take full advantage of the resources offered by a specific program.
Good work so far, keep going!
Cheers,
Janson
"Due to my curiosity in finding out new ways I enjoy conducting research and exploring new advances in technologies and techniques."- Sentence fragment
Lots of grammatical and punctuation errors, (ie. commas in first sentence of your second paragraph)
"Currently, I am working... <this> involves"
"At this point an Industrial engineer comes in to picture who can determine the most effective to use the basic factors of production to develop managerial control system"- instead say, "A this point, an Industrial engineer comes to mind. One who can determine the most effective use of basic factors of production in order to develop managerial control system."
@Janson: Thank you so much, I will surely make the following changes and update..
I am a very creative and detailed oriented person.
Use an instance in your academic preparation or work experience to substantiate the claim that you are creative.
