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'An excellent academic center' - SOP materials


hamideh_mir 1 / -  
Jun 15, 2012   #1
Would you please give me your feedback about my SOP. I don't have much time. Thanks alot

At the present time, as the greatest decision in my academic life, I wish to pursue graduate study with the emphasis on the specific area I have developed a keen interest for during my undergraduate study. As a result, I wish to start my graduate studies, with the ultimate objective of obtaining a PhD degree at the ... as an excellent academic center. I am a well-educated and self-motivated professional with a background in ... . My decision to apply for Ph.D. position "..." at the ... is originated from my aspirations to do organized research in the field of Advanced Materials and polymers and to pursue a research career, either in university or industry, which has been my long term objective and I believe that studying at your department would open new horizons in front of me.

After graduation from high school in 2003, I took part in Nationwide University Admission Exam, the most important academic challenge in our country. It needed intelligence, tenacity and persistence to come over the exam because of the numerous talented and skillful competitors from all over the country, and I ranked in the top 10% of total participants. I selected ... at ... as I was aware of fascinating research work being done in their department related to nanotechnology and advanced materials.

During my undergraduate studies I have been given comprehensive training in basic sciences like Mathematics, Physics and Chemistry, during which I developed strong analytical skills and was able to increase my fundamental knowledge base. Courses like Physics taught me mechanics and electronics while different Chemistry courses introduced me to atomic and subatomic characteristics of materials. During the numerous labs and workshops, I learned how to work as a part of a team. Courses like "Principles of Polymer Chemistry", "Fiber Science", "Physical Structure of Fibers", "Fiber Physics" and so on introduced me to the world of polymers and fibers and sparked the interest in me to pursue my higher studies in the field of advanced polymers and fibers and their unique properties. These courses attracted me greatly and I decided to become a successful student in the department. I actively participated in classes and my course score increased continually and I became well-known as a studious, creative and innovative person in the department who has set high goals for her life. I became Head of textile scientific community in university of Guilan for one year through annual election, and I arranged visiting industry and participation in Textile conferences for students and published scientific Journals with collaboration of other engineering communities. As I always wished to use my theoretical skills in practical experience, I did six months summer training at ... . After Studying the "Technology of Textile and Industrial Fiber production" course, I did three months summer training in ..., the only manufacturer of ... in Iran, to learn how theoretical concepts are used in industry. There I studied polymerization, spinning, drawing and texturizing processes of Nylon 6,6. I also did one month training in ...studying the production and knitting line of towels.

Undergraduate study ignited my interest for research in the field advanced polymers and I started to work on my B.S. Project entitled "..." under Supervision of Professor ... . During which, I became familiar with ... . I also did research on ... . It was a rich experience and I learnt the intricacies involved in research and the kinds of demands that it makes. My research in this field led me to prepare three conference papers presented in International conferences.

All of this coupled with the sense of achievement which came at the end, encouraged me to continue my studies in master's program and be a part of research which would help me explore the areas of my interest, namely advanced polymers and fibers. I made great effort to be successful in my Master's courses and my research. I was graduated with a total GPA of 17.34/20.0, which was the highest GPA among other students. Courses like "Advanced Fiber Physics" increased my knowledge about physical and mechanical properties of fibers, where "Special Subjects" course introduced the new advances related to use of fibers in new areas of technology. I learned about principles of composites and their properties in "Fiber Composites" course, while "Uncommon Fibers Properties and Manufacture" course taught me about advanced fibers and their characterization and properties which made me familiar with carbon fibers, conducting fibers and CNTs. I also did some research studies on "..." during master's program.

I strived to perform well in the courses and tried to gain as much as I could from them. But I feel what qualifies a good graduate student is his ability to perform independent research work. I have always set a very high target for myself and have worked diligently to achieve it. To excel means so much to me and I have incredible power and energy to achieve my purpose. My excellent academic performance and strong aspiration for research and hard work earned me an opportunity to join Professor ...'s research group as he is one of the well known professors working in the area of ... in Iran. My desire to study on ... and also my interest towards ... led me to choose my master thesis entitled "...". During two years study on this subject I studied many Journal papers related to ..., their production, characterization and properties. I particularly studied ..., which is one of the most important steps in production of ... . Using different analysis techniques including FTIR, DSC, TGA, XRD, SEM and Density measurements, I studied the ... . Then I tried to investigate ... . I gathered the results of my research in three papers which I will submit to ISI journals and some national and international conference papers.

I derive great satisfaction and pride from my research. Thus, I want to continue my research at a higher level. A PhD is the essential and crucial conjunction between my past achievements and my future progress and I believe that I have the skill needed for studying and working at your prestigious institution on ... as I have worked and studied on ... and their characterization and properties and I am familiar with different characterization and analysis techniques. ... with renowned faculty members and a lot of publications and modern facilities in my research area, could be an ideal platform to realize my aspirations and will provide me with a suitable environment to pursue my PhD studies in Carboneous Materials like graphene and CNT and their synthesis and properties, By providing me with ample opportunity for acquisition of knowledge. I am fully aware of the high standards of academic excellence and research at ... and high level of commitment and perseverance required for postgraduate studies. I believe that my aptitude, dedication and motivation will see me through the challenge. I look forward to a favorable decision regarding an admission. Thank you immensely for considering my application.

Yours truly,
my name
Date
dumi 1 / 6,925 1592  
Jun 15, 2012   #2
At the present time, as the greatest decision in my academic life, I wish to pursue graduate study with the emphasis on the specific area I have developed a keen interest for during my undergraduate study

This is a poor opening statement which does not reveal any information about you to the reader. Everything there seems to be vague and poorly presented. You can consider removing this entire sentence.

Tell the reader what is your area of interest, how your passion for this field developed and what are your future aspirations, what you want to be, how this graduate studies going to help you with achieving your dream...

The opening para needs to be very strong. It should tempt the reader to follow the rest of the essay.


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