I am a woman of very limited vocabulary and experience in expressing myself through writing but what I lack in technicality I probably make up for it in passion and foolish guts. I even tried few times but then I guess did not have enough courage to fail. I have been a sports person for better part of my life and now in a corporate job but never believed in being the second best and as luck would pretend to favor the foolish. I never needed to be in the second spot till very recently. Professionally and personally, am feeling at a loss but then I am no exception to life's mysterious and trying ways.
So here it goes, what is important to me? A peaceful life with no heart, or a crazy, unrealistic, heart breaking life full of crazy dreams. I would rather go with latter because there is one thing in it that wouldn't let me give up ever; 'Dreams'. Not just any dream, they would be 'my dreams'. Does anyone remember how life like dreams felt like as a kid? You would cry, you would laugh, and you would throw your fist in triumph or kick the air in sheer desperation and all this when you are deep in sleep dreaming. You would wake up with a dream hangover for the better part of the morning. We would talk about it in school, think about it during boring history classes and even build up a story around it for our friends during recess. That used to be the life cycle of a dream. While growing up every book kept telling us to follow our dream and when we would try doing that, everyone around us would ask us to stop dreaming and get real. Today when I look back, I wonder what my life would have been if I had not paid heed to all the 'gyan' about growing up and getting real.
I was always the rebel (in family parlance - Black Sheep). How much ever I would try to do the right thing, I would always end up getting messed up. But every time I followed my heart, I came out on top. With the passage of time, I got around to believe that whatever my family wants for me is probably the best shot I have at life. Once you accept your fate, there is no more dilemma or constant internal tug of war. Life carried on and turned a wild rebellious child to a married woman, whose sole goal in life was to be the perfect wife, daughter, daughter-in-law, and mother. And I would be lying if I say that I was unhappy with that thought of being the wonder woman. I carried on with the façade for a long time but there was something amiss. THAT WAS NOT ME.
My family mattered the most to me and it still does but then what I realized I can't disrespect them by making them my excuse for not following my dreams. Today they are my strength that has made me embark on this journey of exploring and living my dreams. Well as they say better late than never. It only fair that I give myself a chance to be the person I truly am. Make my own honest mistakes. I am what my dreams want me to be. I want "MY SHARE OF THE SKY". It filled me with hope and zeal to achieve the UNACHIEVABLE. It has given me strength to let go of a stable, secure job to pursue my true calling. After 33 years of a comfortable and structured life I finally realized what matters to me the most; it my dreams. Dream of being successful in my endeavors. I have taken my first step towards making one of my dreams, of being a part of a top global B-School, a reality.
"Ester asked why people are sad.
"That's simple," says the old man. "They are the prisoners of their personal history. Everyone believes that the main aim in life is to follow a plan. They never ask if that plan is theirs or if it was created by another person. They accumulate experiences, memories, things, other people's ideas, and it is more than they can possibly cope with. And that is why they forget their dreams."
Overall, this is a pretty good essay, but the question is asking you about what matters most to you. You say "dreams," but you don't even tell readers what your dreams are.
[I think the second paragraph is a better place to start; you don't really need an introduction, and this paragraph is a little hard to understand.]
[You can't just include a random quote in this essay without stating who said it, and in my opinion, you shouldn't put quotes at the end of an essay anyway.]
What matters to me the most and why?
"Journey matters". Throughout my life I have always been interested in jigsaws & puzzles. Not because I could see the end result but because I found the entire process of solving the puzzle extremely fascinating. One of the speeches that reaffirmed my belief system was Steve Jobs' 2005 Stanford Commencement Address. Where he spoke of 'Connecting The Dots' and another one which I very recently heard was Deepak Malhotra's address to the graduating students of Harvard about his philosophy of 'Quit Early and Quit Often'. I believe in my instinct and my passion, I let them drive me. The person
I am today is because of the choices I made in the past and the choices I make today will shape my future. From wanting to be an astronaut or a fighter pilot to being a hotelier, a recruiter, an entrepreneur, to being back with hospitality as a recruiter and now wanting to give it all up to pursue my long pending dream of being a part of Global B school . During the phase when I embarked on an entrepreneurial venture, I thought this is it. I felt that I had found my true calling. Initial two years were extremely exciting but slowly it all felt just the same. I explored other geographies and got busy again for 2 years with newer challenges. That's when I felt I need to do more and hence quit my own setup to explore. Suddenly I found myself at a crossroad with plethora of questions in my mind about 'what next?' There were serious doubts in my mind about my own capability to stick to one dream. My aspirations and dreams kept changing with time. They were so varied that I didn't even know which one to follow, didn't know if I had the requisite skills to succeed. Before I could conceptualize what I wanted to do next, Hilton happened. More than anything it was nostalgia of being back in hospitality but still there were some apprehension as this was the role I had never done in the past and I didn't know how I would fare. My biggest fear of not being able to do justice to my role made me really nervous.
Nevertheless, I started on a positive note and it all came very naturally to me, I realized my inner wont lied in creating something new; reinventing the wheel; I derived pleasure in delivering on some unachievable targets. It seemed like a gothic opportunity to unlearn and learn at the same time. At the same time I observed there is this huge scope for improvement in the Human Resources role as a business partner within hospitality. It got me thinking and there was a deep desire to make a difference. It also reignited my dream of a global MBA that will help me gain some global perspective and broaden my horizon to help me make that difference.
Today when I had to write about what matters the most, I looked back at my journey so far and came to understand as to how these dots (decisions) connect. How quitting when things didn't feel right helped me continue my quest for newer avenues and milestones? If only I had not moved from hospitality into an unrelated field of executive search, I probably would not have been here writing this essay. Today the hardships, anxiety, failures all seem worthwhile. If only I had cared about the destination I wouldn't have valued the journey and subsequently wouldn't have gained insight into my own actions and repercussions of those actions. It was the journey that shaped my perspective and made me the person I am today. I hope to see this quest for journey go on till the last sunset I ever witness.
