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IELTS : In some countries, people who are unemployed receive a sum of money each


Murko 2 / 3  
Sep 25, 2012   #1
"In some countries, people who are unemployed receive a sum of money each week in the form of benefit. While some support this, other people believe that this money should not be given"

There are countries those hands out some money to its citizen who are unemployed. Some believe that money should not be given but other believes that government should take care of their citizen.

The monetary support given by government is to help its citizen so that they can take care of their basic requirement. There is an obligation on the government to take care of people in need. In today's world many people find hard to find a job and in such situation if the government do not take care of its own citizen, it will break down the social structure. People might indulge in crime to meet their basic necessity. By providing support to its people, it gives a change to its people to sustain themselves and think of a long term solution.

Though the monetary support might help its people, it's not the solution for creating a vibrant country. The government needs to think of creating job and infrastructure for the people to get job. It needs to create an economy where employment requirement is sufficient for one to find a job. It should not hide its incapability in creating jobs by handing out small benefits to people. There will be a section of people who would tend to look only for government hand-outs rather than trying to achieve long term prosperity.

In conclusion, government do need to take care of its citizen and have responsibility towered its citizen, they should also think of creating an economy where there is job for people. Handing out benefit should be for a limited period of time, so that people really try hard to get a job.
layla88 3 / 16  
Sep 25, 2012   #2
Hi Murko Agom
Firstly, you did not write the topic completely, I mean you did not clarify whether the question ask you to give your opinion and take side or just discuss the advantages and disadvantages.

I think INTRODUCTION need to be developed, you should add some sentences describing what are you going to talk. For example, if the topic ask you to give your opinion ,you can write: In my opinion, governments are responsible to provide people's need. Providing welfare for unemployed people can prevent lots of crimes. However, governments should use their authority to provide higher job opportunity and solve the problem of unemployment. This will indicate that what will be the topic of you paragraphs.

By providing support to its people, itthe government gives a change to its people to sustain themselves and think of a long term solution.

Generally, I think this sentence requires rewriting
I hope this would help you
Regards


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