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Admissions essay for masters in chemical engineering


prasanna88 1 / 4  
Nov 17, 2009   #1
Plz help me edit my essay

"The most beautiful and the most profound experience is the sensation of the mystical. It is the power of all true science..." My perspective of what drives me in life is wholly encompassed by these words of Einstein, for I am someone who is driven by my curiosity and passions.

The urge to learn ceaselessly was inculcated in me by my father at a young age, with his questions and facts during our countless avid discussions. He would always direct me to a book or a newspaper to further my knowledge. Such exposure made me impatient to experience all that I read about, providing a momentum to the learning process.

I think life is a fulfilling experience if you pursue your interests and let the experiences help you grow as a person. It therefore becomes very important to take up a career, doing something of genuine interest.

My decision to take up Chemical engineering for my undergraduate studies grew from my fascination for thermodynamics and kinetics in chemistry during my higher secondary days. In the engineering entrance exam I ranked among the top 2% in the state and took up chemical engineering at the University of Mumbai. The coursework was absorbing. I thoroughly enjoyed my subjects and I can certainly say that I have done justice to them. My performance in the undergraduate course is a reflection of how success results when passion meets purpose. In the last three semesters, I have consistently topped my batch, and considering the cumulative score, I rank first in the batch. In recognition of this, I received the prestigious "Sir Ratan Tata Scholarship" during my second and third years for academic excellence.

My association with IIChE (Indian Institute of Chemical Engineers) really came about with "ChEMERGENCE", a technical festival, which started as an initiative to provide a platform to chemical engineering students by a group of my immediate seniors. After being a part of the organizing team in various capacities for the festival three years in a row, it seems to have grown before my very eyes from an enthusiastic start up to an established national technical festival. Undoubtedly my fondest memories of college are of the rush, the nerves and the bonding we as a team experienced during ChEMERGENCE.

As my final year project, I took up "Separation of Omega-3 fatty acids from flaxseed oil". This being my first foray into research work, it has been huge learning experience for me and my team. Due to lack of resources and insufficient data, we worked overtime to stay on schedule. And, as the group leader, I had to keep the momentum and the enthusiasm up when there were setbacks.

Armed with the experience from the ongoing project and the confidence I gained from it, I along with 2 other teammates initiated a research project with a consultancy firm, based on the directive of the Ministry Of Environments And Forests and the Central Pollution Control Board of India for the control of harmful volatile emissions from gasoline-naphtha storage tanks. The project aims to analyze activated carbon varieties to be used in developing vapor recovery systems in refineries.

In my three years of studies, I found that chemical engineering has so much to offer to my quest for knowledge. Being a dynamic field which touches almost all aspects of modern science, it has kept me interested and inspired throughout. Seeing its vastness, I certainly feel that a graduate degree is essential to focus on my interests.

Carbon dioxide capture and sequestration was a study project I undertook in my third year of studies. My interest in the topic grew stronger as I learned more about it. Working on the project, I had the opportunity to study numerous IPCC (Inter Governmental Panel for Climate Change) and CCP (Carbon Capture Project) reports. The knowledge I gained was invaluable and I was more than convinced that this was a world changing technology of the future and certainly where I wanted to be involved.

India today is one of the highest carbon dioxide emitting nations in the world. With the growing environmental concerns and the introduction of carbon credit trade, this is a technology which India will need. And when it is here, I want to be an integral part of the effort to provide a greener future to my country.

The department of chemical engineering at the University of ....
OP prasanna88 1 / 4  
Nov 17, 2009   #2
People please help!!!!
i dunno whther the sop is good enough!!!!!!!!!!!
linmark 2 / 328 7  
Nov 18, 2009   #3
You present yourself well. Your essay flows nicely until the fourth to last section. The sequencing gets confusing here as you were talking about the past and here you introduce your future aspirations. How about starting with your new interests in new technology that in your third year (is it your last or do u have one more?) and why:

Carbon dioxide capture and sequestration was a study project I took up in my third year etc. and end with ...
a graduate degree is essential for me to be an integral part of the effort to provide a greener future to my country.
(instead of:)
In my 3 years of studies I found that Chemical engineering always had so much to offer to my never ending need for something new. Being a dynamic field which touches almost all aspects of modern science it has kept me interested and inspired throughout. More than anything it has instilled in me the knowledge and in the process the belief to make a difference in real world situations. Seeing its vastness, I certainly feel that a graduate degree is essential to focus on my interests.
EF_Kevin 8 / 13,321 129  
Nov 19, 2009   #4
Very nice writing here! How about this:
...closely followed diverse interests, such as...

Instead of closely, how about... exactingly pursued, diverse interests, such as...

That is a nice sentence.

Oh, I see what linmark means about the organization. It will help if you add a sentence to the end of the first pars to "support" all these ideas. In that intro, tell the reader the main ideas you will cover. List them in a sentence.

I think a very impressive part is when you talk about your future career near the end. Can you include some more specific ideas about your intentions -- work you would like to do, resources you will use in college, articles you are reading lately...

:-) That is what I think... hit them harder with evidence of being involved in the field already -- and support these many ideas with a proper introduction.
OP prasanna88 1 / 4  
Nov 20, 2009   #5
Thank you guys for the help!
Kevin, if i am not asking too much can u give me a brief outline or structure of the line ur askin me to insert after the first para?
gaiwenjie 1 / 1  
Nov 21, 2009   #6
I think thier is no need to tell the reader your name at first?

Beside, you can write more things on your research I think. Use more details in your work to surport your idea may be better
futintgrad 1 / 4  
Nov 22, 2009   #7
The first two paras seem very irrelevant. You have some great research experience and interests. Make a captivating and vivid start with something about carbon emissions for example, what aspects of it has motivated you for further study.

I took up chemical engineering for my bachelor's degree because I enjoyed studying thermodynamics, kinetics and reaction mechanisms in chemistry at the higher secondary level.

Leave specifics like these to the resume. Focus on what you learned in your SOP.

My parents and friends were not impressed by my decision. India was experiencing the information technology [IT] boom, and every engineering hopeful aimed to study computer science or IT for the bachelor's degree. But the prospective of taking a road less travelled was intriguing. And I am glad I chose not to follow the herd, for my decision led me to a subject I enjoyed.

Is this really required? It creates a sort of a negative impression. Are you taking the 'road less travelled' just for the heck of it? Instead describe about your immense interests in your field and why you took up chem engg on the basis of that.

My association with the Indian Institute of Chemical Engineers really came about with "Chemergence", which started as an initiative to provide a platform to chemical engineering students by a group of my immediate seniors. After being a part of the organizing team in various capacities for the festival three years in a row, it seems to have grown before my very eyes from an enthusiastic start up to an established national technical festival. Undoubtedly my fondest memories of college are of the rush, the nerves and the bonding we as a team experienced during Chemergence.

This para sounds nice, but bring non-research activities in the end.

In my 3 years of studies I found that Chemical engineering always had so much to offer to my never ending need for something new.
quest for knowledge/innovation (sounds better)

You need to polish your essay, but the content is good.
Please have a look at my essay if you can.
OP prasanna88 1 / 4  
Nov 23, 2009   #8
futintgrad, than u for ur genuine comments!
i read ur essay and its unbelievable! i mean its focused and has a great structure.
abt ur suggestions
1. i wanted to introduce myself and my traits to the admission committee so i went ahead with an intro like this. i cud start with co2 emissions but i havent really done some real time research or work on this bcuz its not present in india. neither is the work what i am doin now anywhere realted to co2 storage.. so i thought talkin abt it wud feel artificial.

2 i hve addressed the 2nd and 3rd and 5th comments

3. IIche para i wanted to include to show the other things i ve done. i dunno really whthr i shd remove this!!
OP prasanna88 1 / 4  
Dec 12, 2009   #9
thnks for ur reply guys
EF_Kevin 8 / 13,321 129  
Dec 14, 2009   #10
can u give me a brief outline or structure of the line ur askin me to insert after the first para?

I was saying you should include a sentence WITHIN the first para that lists the topics. "In order to prove my point about apples, this paper will include brief discussion of apple-pickers, apple-sellers, and apple-eaters."

After that, it will seem like the essay has very nice structure. The organization is pleasing to readers in the way that a very organized kitchen is pleasing to the eye.

:-)


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