Hi,
I'm applying for grad school and I have to write an essay about my career goal. I'm an international student and I think there might be mistakes in my essay.
Please if you all can read it and give your opinion I would appreciate that.
Thank you everyone!
Some people may take a few seconds to figure out what they want to do in life. Some may take years. I was twenty when I knew what I wanted to do and my goal in life. My decision may arise by from the experience I had but mostly due to my passion for the field. It was during my A-level period that I began to develop an interest in the field of Statistics. Basics of Statistics and Probability were introduced to me and gained my attention as sensible conclusion and important decision can be made when Mathematics and Probability are applied to a given data. During my undergraduate career in Financial Mathematics, I delved deeper in the field of Statistics by enrolling myself in Statistics modules such as Time Series, Linear Model, Bayesian Statistics and Stochastic Process and Finance. My understanding and passion for the subject grew and I decided that I want to pursue my Masters in Statistics and PhD to be in the academic and research line.
To me, numbers do not lie; however, a lot of information can be obtained by analysing and interpreting data. Statistical software "R" and WinBUGS were introduced to me to aid in the process of analysing and computing data. With "R" software, I gained the skill to create graphics and formulas that can produce linear and non-linear modelling, statistical test and Time Series analysis, while with WinBUGS, I was able to practice the application of Bayesian inference. Both software are advantages to me as it can handle data effectively and compute scientific calculation which reduces the calculation time.
Statistics is now a demanding subject that is required by other fields - Engineering, Medical, Economic, and Politics- to improve the findings in order to advance in the respective fields. The usage of statistical tools in analysing, interpreting, forecasting and producing a valid conclusion are also important for decision making in business. I developed a keen interest is the Bayesian paradigm as it includes both statistical inference and decision making. Bayesian Statistics does not only use a different approach from the Frequentist Statistics but it also manages to solve the problems faced by the Frequentist method. However, my interest in the Bayesian Statistics does not stop me from exploring the other area of Statistics. By doing master in Statistics, I will have a better understanding of Statistics as a whole and will have the confidence to use both Bayesian and Frequentist in research.
To expose myself in the academic world, I took up a volunteering role in a program known as "Saturday Mentoring Project" where I taught Somali children Mathematics syllabus for IGCSE in one-to-one basis. There, I was able to express my knowledge to others as well as improve my confidence and English skills. Returning to Malaysia, I am teaching students Mathematics in a tuition centre to help them understand about the subject, clear they doubts and help them to catch up what they missed in school.
As I have always put my education first, I managed to obtain a sponsorship after finishing my high school with 12A's in my Malaysian Certificate of Education Examination (equivalent to 'O' level). The sponsorship gave me the chance to study in England for my undergraduate degree which I achieved an Upper Second Class Honours in BSc Financial Mathematics. Currently, I have been granted a place and funds under the Fellow Scheme of Islamic Science University of Malaysia to further my Master's degree at XXX. Being in the Fellow Scheme will be a one step closer to my goal as I will be given the opportunity in teaching and research position in the university once I completed my study.
In the effort to reach my goal, I started my search for universities that offer a Master in Statistics after I graduated from my degree and I found the MS Statistics in University of XXX would be suitable for me. I discovered that there are a lot of opportunities that I can grab on to by attending University of XXX. As the MS Statistics offered in XXX combines both the application and the theory part of Statistics, I will have the opportunity explore deeper in both areas. Also, I will have the chance to work with other department on XXX's campus and the Statistical Consulting that will further enhance my skills in Applied Statistics. After listening and reading the promising comments about the professionalism of the professors who are both friendly and approachable I feel more will be equipped with the knowledge and educational experiences to prepare myself in the working world.
With all the knowledge, experiences and skills that I possess, I know that I am a suitable candidate to be a part of XXX. I believe I have a lot to offer XXX community; if not as much as what I believe I will gain from the education and experiences from XXX. Joining XXX will not only catalyse my goal in conducting research in the field of Statistics but may also jump start my career in this field.
My decision may arise by from the experience I had but mostly due to my passion for the field.
.... I think this is not necessary to state explicitly. Let them feel so through reading your response. That would be more convincing too.
Well, if this prompt is to talk about your career goals, you need to have more focus on them. The first few paras do not answer that properly, instead they take different direction altogether.
No I don't find any issue with your grammar. In fact you write very well and you present your ideas very clearly. It is not about the grammar or presentation you need to worry about :)
However, you better pay more attention to align your answer more with the prompt and present your case more convincingly :)
Good luck with your application!
