Would you please read my sop and say its problems?
Statement of Purpose
When I was fourteen ,I left Iran for the first time and took a short trip to Malaysia. Since I was very young and in a completely different environment, I had a strange feeling toward in a what restricted place we were living, compared to the infinite outside world. After that trip, I realized that for every limitation there was infinity of possibilities and I still believe so. I was young and inexperienced but that trip made me think about boundless possibilities and create huge changes in my life. In 2008, when it was time for me to choose my field of study and my future career , I was influenced by my new attitude toward infinite possibilities and changes, so I chose Urban Planning, a filed which could satisfy my ambitious desire to solve the unknown. Of course, the new infinity I had found was to some extend a new limitation but it could not be handled easily.
An amazing combination of urban sociology, urban geography and its relationship with urban spaces, put me in a world full of information in which various models could be observed. Transportation, land use, traffic , and etc were the things creating a burning desire in my heart during the four years of my undergraduate study, making me expand my knowledge about cities every day. It was then that I narrowed down my scope of attention and decided to focus on cities and their indefinite relations rather than concentrating on an indefinite world.
In my final project in "Design and application of urban information system" I found that GIS is useful software to analyze urban information and I did a research in Ghom's fire stations placement. For a while, I started working in T.M.P (Urban Planning and Urban Design company) and witnessed some of the GIS applications in towns. GIS experts of the company had designed some models to identify distressed areas and targets to revitalization them. Then, I developed my interest in analyzing city texture through GIS.
In my second trip to Malaysia in 2010, I met Behzad Nadi, who was a postgraduate student in geomantic and I was in touch with him for a long time, sharing a lot of articles regarding to GIS application in cities like noise pollution management resulting from transportation , locating multi-storey public parking lots , GIS application in transportation and traffic, solid waste management through Geoinformation technology or GIS for disaster and hazard. Meeting Behzad Nadi made me expand my horizons towards GIS and do not look at it only as a software. These articles gave me some ideas to conduct similar projects on my cities, however, due to lack of enough practical knowledge I have not been able to go through with my plans, including "analysis of Ghom's situation after earthquake and crisis management by GIS. I will try my best to gain such technical knowledge to actualize ideas on my mind.
In 2011, I got familiar with NPR Company and 3D laser scanner and my initial idea created an agreement between this company and the municipality of Hashtgerd city to scan the city by this technology and an online virtual city . I was the liaison between the company and the city but the project was canceled for some reasons. My experience with this company made me concentrated on 3D models of cities and there I found myself interested in Urban Simulation.
In 2011, I ran a course at university on Spatial analysis and 3D analysis. Since I wanted to fully prepare myself for the class , I searched online for months and surfed different sites which familiarized me with MIT Senseable Lab ,SMART, Future City Lab, CASA . Among other topics, analysis of transportation and traffic by mobile distribution models of internet or facebook connection models in various city areas have attracted my attention.
Generally speaking, the chain of events during these years has made me determined to continue urban planning in GIS and IT fields . Since location data analysis is one of my greatest interests, I would like to focus on relation among transportation , traffic , land use , and study the usage of technology to analyze cities and their complexities. People's behavior analysis through technology (for example identifying their favorite places by tracking) is also one of my interest .In general, everything related to city elements and location can draw my attention.
As I have pointed out I have some GIS experiences and I took apart in "introductory GIS course" and "advanced GIS course" in Jahad Daneshgahi and after that I ran a course which lasted 30 hourse in my university and I taught 20 students what I had gained during Jahad Daneshgahi courses. I was responsible for preparing GIS maps and databases in T.M.P for 3 months .On the whole I worked with ArcCatalog ,ArcScene,Arcmap(including: 3D Analyst, Advanced Editing ,Animation ,Dimensioning ,Draw ,Editor, Effect ,Labeling ,layout ,Spatial Adjustment ,Standard ,Tools ,Spatial Analyst and some functions in Arctoolbox)
I checked Planetizen and I saw GIS part and Concordia was one of the universities in that part . If I want talk about my future career , I had better said that it's not important for me where I'm working and in which country I'm contributing something to society ,I will work in a place in which I can be sure that I'm using maximum of my abilities and creativity.I hope to come to Concordia and cooperate with Prof. Patterson and Prof. Caquard.
Good essay overall; however, you need to correct your grammar. Also your transition sentences need to be improved, you have written "In 2011..." and then the next paragraph also starts with "in 2011..."
You also need to have a wider variety of vocab and you have used a few words slightly incorrectly "I hope to come to Concordia and cooperate with Prof. Patterson" Cooperate is not the right word there...perhaps use work? or study under?
I'm not sure how long your essay has to be but I think you can shorten your essay a bit...you have definitely done a lot of things, but you don't need to mention all of them here in piecemeal paragraphs, perhaps combine two experiences and say it as one? For example, "During my university studies and internships at NPR, I was exposed to 3D.."
Hope that helped!
