Hi, I have taken the liberty to re-phrase, change the grammer & interchange some of your paragraphs. Hope it helps.
The pursuit of a satisfying and meaningful career is my ultimate goal and a master of public health degree is a stepping stone along the path to a future career. For me, it is also a responsibility I owe to myself.
My University education exposed me to a number of Public Health issues. Apart from my academics, I was affiliated with an anti AIDS club which emphazised on behavioral change to prevent the risk of STDs, HIV/AIDS and unplanned pregnancies. I joined this club particularly, only so that I could make an impact on my fellow students and prevent the spread of the virus, having lost a lot of my close relations to HIV/AIDS. It was from this point onwards that my interest in public health increased. During my fifth year of university education, I aspired to conduct research on the role of physiotherapy in patients HIV/AIDS patients but could not conduct the named research due to funding difficulties and other ethics issues. Nevertheless, I chose another public health topic 'The prevalence of complaints of arm, neck and shoulder among office workers who use computers' which earned me an award as the best graduating student in Research. The findings of the study further prompted me to make a difference in Preventable illnesses, and thus considered having Public health research as a career.
My work experience as a physiotherapist is within the field of public health and has developed my disease identification & treatment, and to a certain extent, my preventive skills. I am also currently engaged in community (outreach) program for HIV/AIDS patients, where my role is to identify and mobilize patients who are on Anti retro-virus drugs having residual effects of ARVs (weak limbs) and other people in the community who might actually need Physiotherapy services. Though this integration of physiotherapy services with HIV/AIDS activities at the hospital is still in its infancy, as a department we have achieved a 30% increase in the number of patient captured within the community and who are actually accessing our services.
Being the overseer of the physiotherapy aspect of this community HIV/AIDS program, I have earned a great deal of insight on the underlying issues. Each time we embark on the usual community visits and find cases that could have been prevented, I feel challenged and to some extent motivated to do more as presently our main emphasis is only on the curative aspect of disease rather than its Prevention and Primary care. My participation in this community program only increased my interest in Preventive medicine and improved quality of Healthcare. Since the time I was diagnosed with Hyperthyroidism in 2009, I realized that I would not be able to meet the physical demands of my current Job. Hence, I have decided that I would contribute to the Population health at an Administrative level.
Presently I have also taken up a certification course in HIV/AIDS management, which I believe coupled with this Masters degree program would help me perform better in my future job roles. Going forward, I also aspire to be involved in devising programs focused on Preventive Medicine and provide quality Healthcare, especially in HIV/AIDS related projects.
Having been drawn to Public health because of its unbound solutions to health issues, I am in search of skills required to help me contribute positively towards the health of the community and society at large. To this end, I hope to secure an admission in this graduate program at your institution.